"The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold,
and the Lord tests hearts"
Many things are going to happen this year. For the first half, there is the extra Calculus BC and Physics 2 AP exams that I need to self study. As of now I already dashed through fluid mechanics, sequences, L'Hôpital's rule, and improper integrals within two weeks. Burn, burn, burn!
Questioning my choices too. Life can be so easy if I pursued humanities as my profession. I guess easy topics have no appeal to me. Sciences are more gruelling, but the elegance of the universe's ways is far more aesthetic than all the humanities. Humanities are earthly, while sciences are transcendental. So this is why.
The burning is not so much in making time for studies, but making time for God. The test is not about whether I can retain my sanity, but whether I can keep God a part of my life. To be honest, I almost canceled this post to do more studying. But hey, priorities~
It is very tempting to take credit for myself, which is why there is the push and pull of success and failure. Hopefully by the end I will remember how I got there. As I have learned last month, no temptation is too great to overcome. I can combat the weakness of my flesh and humble myself. This is another test unto itself. The way is not so simple, but I will not be alone~
For the second half of this year and onwards, I will not be in Thailand. For sure. I have not applied for any Thai universities so it will be a whirl leaving my home of (by then) eighteen years. Living with my parents is a sweet little haven, a nice and protected bubble. Whereas being alone out there, no one will be around to rein me in. What I do is up to me. The Lord tests hearts.
But until then, these APs. Burn away, honey.
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