"my eyes cause me grief
at the fate of all the daughters of my city."
It has been two months since my determination, but I have not quite lived up to my word. More and more of my friends are slipping away to worldliness. Porn, LGBT, casual relationships, hangovers.. how could they? Only three years ago we were innocent as can be. Today they cause me grief.
This is not something that crosses their minds. Even one friend of mine sees my concern as needless depression. What they do not see is that sin is a matter of eternal life and eternal death.
If I cared enough I would have stopped them, but I was more worried about being ousted from respect. I was afraid of being annoying, eccentric, moralistic. I was afraid of being abhorred, despised, shunned. I should have known that I would be more afraid of losing my peers to the devil.
How could I be so selfish? There I was, witnessing acts of sin - acts of spiritual suicide - yet I did nothing. How can I call myself a friend? How can I say my farewells while worried sick? How lousy I am..
I bore no such grief until I saw it. How blind I was. Everyone was slipping away while I enjoyed my delusions of innocence. They have sunken deep into the mud. My nearsightedness led to this. This is the fate of my people, and I must behold the result of my own carelessness.
There are only three months left if I am to do anything about it. Please God, give me the right words. For them, and for me too. If not, I will never be able to move on with my heart at ease. How else can I unsee grief?
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