"Commit your work to the Lord,
and your plans will be established"
In January I was only halfway through an AP physics 1 and AP calculus AB course. Scoring all fives in AP physics 1 and 2, and AP calculus BC seemed crazy, having to cram all that preparation in four months. Nevermind getting a five, even with only one AP chemistry course last year I scored a four.
But I must continuously remind myself why I want this. Is it for my own glory? Not so. But I want this dice roll to be a testimony, whether it helps me achieve extreme goals or keeps me safe at home.
Does this have anything to do with getting myself far away from home? To some extent. Having my parents near I cannot do much without getting scolded for being ridiculous. Such as what I did here. For starving myself. For throwing away money. Stupid girl.
In the long term, being educated in physics gives me a say in the world. Science is the new religion. Religion is the new heresy. Whether this is my fight, that is for God to decide.
As of now, two weeks until the exam, my possible result is still uncertain. The AP Physics B exam does nothing in predicting for the new exam. Last year only 5% of test takers scored a 5. As much as 60% did not even manage to pass.
I am predicted 67% on my first takes of the new exams (at least a pass, eh) largely due to unfamiliarity with the free response section. It does have quite a variety of activities other than pure calculation. If I do get a decent score, that would be a miracle.
Showing posts with label infinite. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infinite. Show all posts
Saturday, 16 April 2016
Sunday, 27 March 2016
Isaiah 40:31
"but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint"
Most people have at least one university acceptance by now. I have had two extremely difficult conditional offers, five rejections, and four more competitive decisions to hear from. I will have a place in Taiwan for sure, since I listed some twenty insurance choices.. and being the valedictorian too!
I had my doubts when applying: my parents, my counsellors, my peers.. they were all too optimistic. Mum opposed my choosing University of Manchester and University of Nottingham for their "low" ranking, yet I applied anyways. Ironically, those are the only two offers I hold now.
My peers are all drunk on senior-itis, and here I am still working my brains out for APs. I was hoping that I would receive one unconditional acceptance this month so that I can soothe my nerves, but I was not granted that. I suppose this is God's way of telling me to work harder.
Knowing that there are plans for me gives me the strength to study harder. What I manage to garner will not be in vain. If anything, it is the wait that gives me incentive to work, to prepare and anticipate what is to come.
It has been three intense months. Cramming two AP courses into four certainly was not easy. Looking at my practice now I am guaranteed a pass, but whether I meet any conditions is still up to the next month.
Studying in the UK might not be God's will; however unlikely, university might not even be God's will. Whatever happens, I will study harder, and wait until my future is revealed. I believe that all is for the best.
Most people have at least one university acceptance by now. I have had two extremely difficult conditional offers, five rejections, and four more competitive decisions to hear from. I will have a place in Taiwan for sure, since I listed some twenty insurance choices.. and being the valedictorian too!
I had my doubts when applying: my parents, my counsellors, my peers.. they were all too optimistic. Mum opposed my choosing University of Manchester and University of Nottingham for their "low" ranking, yet I applied anyways. Ironically, those are the only two offers I hold now.
My peers are all drunk on senior-itis, and here I am still working my brains out for APs. I was hoping that I would receive one unconditional acceptance this month so that I can soothe my nerves, but I was not granted that. I suppose this is God's way of telling me to work harder.
Knowing that there are plans for me gives me the strength to study harder. What I manage to garner will not be in vain. If anything, it is the wait that gives me incentive to work, to prepare and anticipate what is to come.
It has been three intense months. Cramming two AP courses into four certainly was not easy. Looking at my practice now I am guaranteed a pass, but whether I meet any conditions is still up to the next month.
Studying in the UK might not be God's will; however unlikely, university might not even be God's will. Whatever happens, I will study harder, and wait until my future is revealed. I believe that all is for the best.
Monday, 14 March 2016
Genesis 9:3
"Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. And as I gave you the green plants, I give you everything"
Meat consumption has become a topic lately. It is destructive in every way, from deforestation to water shortage, to ocean pollution, to greenhouse effect, to animal cruelty, to obesity, and the such. I would say that meat makes about one sixth of my diet, which is a small portion of an already minute appetite. Still working on minimizing the consumption~
And my pastor brought up this interesting topic to light: people before Noah were vegan. Our sins collected over many generations to the point where meat consumption is necessary and God must allow it. Not sure how it came to be biologically, but sin is as physical as it is spiritual, in the same way that Adam and Eve became mortal.
Today the crave for meat is greater than ever. Despite all the notices for environment, humanity and health, very little people are ready to give it up. In fact, most people are in denial at the severity of its effect (especially when shutting the livestock business is not quite economical). Sin is so deeply rooted in our flesh that meat has become an artificial necessity.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that God really has provided everything for us. Skeptics point at the starving people of today and ask: "Where is God?". God has already given, but we meat eaters have taken more than our share. We give crops to livestock when crops could easily feed the world. There is in fact plenty for all if we would give up our cravings for meat.
Let me clarify: the wrong is not in the meat itself but in how we came to want meat, and in recent times, how we disregard immoralities that come with our meat. If meat was sinful, God would not have permitted it.
Meat is economical. Meat is sociable. Meat is not environmental. The social and economical interest often outweighs the environmental concern, and that is the way I often thought of this. But meat consumption is a spiritual fight as well. Only when we are alleviated of our sins are we freed from our bondage to meat. Nobody is going to be immaculately clean of sin, but it will take more than campaigns and reforms to cut meat consumption to a significant minimum. It takes God.
Meat consumption has become a topic lately. It is destructive in every way, from deforestation to water shortage, to ocean pollution, to greenhouse effect, to animal cruelty, to obesity, and the such. I would say that meat makes about one sixth of my diet, which is a small portion of an already minute appetite. Still working on minimizing the consumption~
And my pastor brought up this interesting topic to light: people before Noah were vegan. Our sins collected over many generations to the point where meat consumption is necessary and God must allow it. Not sure how it came to be biologically, but sin is as physical as it is spiritual, in the same way that Adam and Eve became mortal.
Today the crave for meat is greater than ever. Despite all the notices for environment, humanity and health, very little people are ready to give it up. In fact, most people are in denial at the severity of its effect (especially when shutting the livestock business is not quite economical). Sin is so deeply rooted in our flesh that meat has become an artificial necessity.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that God really has provided everything for us. Skeptics point at the starving people of today and ask: "Where is God?". God has already given, but we meat eaters have taken more than our share. We give crops to livestock when crops could easily feed the world. There is in fact plenty for all if we would give up our cravings for meat.
Let me clarify: the wrong is not in the meat itself but in how we came to want meat, and in recent times, how we disregard immoralities that come with our meat. If meat was sinful, God would not have permitted it.
Meat is economical. Meat is sociable. Meat is not environmental. The social and economical interest often outweighs the environmental concern, and that is the way I often thought of this. But meat consumption is a spiritual fight as well. Only when we are alleviated of our sins are we freed from our bondage to meat. Nobody is going to be immaculately clean of sin, but it will take more than campaigns and reforms to cut meat consumption to a significant minimum. It takes God.
Sunday, 28 February 2016
Lamentations 3:51
"my eyes cause me grief
at the fate of all the daughters of my city."
It has been two months since my determination, but I have not quite lived up to my word. More and more of my friends are slipping away to worldliness. Porn, LGBT, casual relationships, hangovers.. how could they? Only three years ago we were innocent as can be. Today they cause me grief.
This is not something that crosses their minds. Even one friend of mine sees my concern as needless depression. What they do not see is that sin is a matter of eternal life and eternal death.
If I cared enough I would have stopped them, but I was more worried about being ousted from respect. I was afraid of being annoying, eccentric, moralistic. I was afraid of being abhorred, despised, shunned. I should have known that I would be more afraid of losing my peers to the devil.
How could I be so selfish? There I was, witnessing acts of sin - acts of spiritual suicide - yet I did nothing. How can I call myself a friend? How can I say my farewells while worried sick? How lousy I am..
I bore no such grief until I saw it. How blind I was. Everyone was slipping away while I enjoyed my delusions of innocence. They have sunken deep into the mud. My nearsightedness led to this. This is the fate of my people, and I must behold the result of my own carelessness.
There are only three months left if I am to do anything about it. Please God, give me the right words. For them, and for me too. If not, I will never be able to move on with my heart at ease. How else can I unsee grief?
at the fate of all the daughters of my city."
It has been two months since my determination, but I have not quite lived up to my word. More and more of my friends are slipping away to worldliness. Porn, LGBT, casual relationships, hangovers.. how could they? Only three years ago we were innocent as can be. Today they cause me grief.
This is not something that crosses their minds. Even one friend of mine sees my concern as needless depression. What they do not see is that sin is a matter of eternal life and eternal death.
If I cared enough I would have stopped them, but I was more worried about being ousted from respect. I was afraid of being annoying, eccentric, moralistic. I was afraid of being abhorred, despised, shunned. I should have known that I would be more afraid of losing my peers to the devil.
How could I be so selfish? There I was, witnessing acts of sin - acts of spiritual suicide - yet I did nothing. How can I call myself a friend? How can I say my farewells while worried sick? How lousy I am..
I bore no such grief until I saw it. How blind I was. Everyone was slipping away while I enjoyed my delusions of innocence. They have sunken deep into the mud. My nearsightedness led to this. This is the fate of my people, and I must behold the result of my own carelessness.
There are only three months left if I am to do anything about it. Please God, give me the right words. For them, and for me too. If not, I will never be able to move on with my heart at ease. How else can I unsee grief?
Saturday, 30 January 2016
Matthew 6:2
"Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward".
Despite what this verse says, I will tell a story I have never told:
It was the first week of school: Thursday, 6th of August, 2015. Mum needed to pick up brother so she dropped me off at the overpass to walk home. It was about 4:00pm; cars rushed beneath the overpass while it was deserted up top, except for one beggar.
My family does not do much giving. Dad is all talk and no action. He is the greatest preacher of hunger, war, and global warming, rambling on and on at the dinner table, yet the most gluttonous, prejudiced, and wasteful of us all. Mum is more silent on the matter of poverty, since she does not have a career of her own. I have never seen my parents give. When we passed by beggars, dad tugs me along with words of pity while holding onto his "you win or you lose" philosophy.
Before the day I walked that overpass, I used to ponder. If my parents are not around to restrain me, what will I do for these unfortunate people? Will I give heartily as I always wanted to? Or will I walk on by like my parents did? More still, what if the money is of my own labour and pain? It is easy to give something that is not mine, but will I be able to give away money of my own?
So it was time to find out.
I stopped three meters from him and considered how much I should give. Then I snapped to my senses and asked myself: why am I withholding? Somebody is in need here! I rummaged my backpack for every note and coin there is. Surely I must have something, and after having searched my bag inside out and upside down, I confirmed that I only had one hundred baht.
Call me stupid, or gullible, but if anyone is willing to sit all day on a dirty overpass for a meager donation, I say that person is desperate enough to receive some help. His right hand was a stump. He held up to his forehead and I put the hundred into his cup. Then I left the overpass.
That ought to have settled my unease, having proven myself capable. But on my way home I just got upset. All I could think was "I only had one hundred baht". If only I had more to give. Why did I not have more to give? What did I spend it on? Nothing, really. I spend forty baht a day for lunch at school, and that is all.
The very next day I stopped having lunch. At least that is what I can do as a student. And as far as health goes, it has not killed me.
At home we work by a "when you need more" basis. Mum always gives me more than I need, two hundred baht a week and one thousand baht for trips. I tell her honestly that I still have money, but she stuffs it in my hand anyways, and I usually end up returning them all at the end of the year. But this time I add all the money to an envelope written "Yi Ting physics" (that envelope is another story to itself. A couple months ago I donated a total of 1,500 to help the Nepalese earthquake recovery 2015 from my talent show and science fair prizes).
By November I had accumulated a little over five thousand baht. When Habitat for Humanity came around, I did not withhold. I gave the whole envelope away. In December when the donation for Northern Thai hill tribes came around, I did not withhold and gave my one thousand.
It was the first week of semester two: Wednesday, 6th of January, 2016. Mum needed to pick up brother so she dropped me off at the overpass to walk home. It was about 4:00pm; cars rushed beneath the overpass while it was deserted up top, except for one beggar.
It had been exactly five months since, and he is still there. I did not withhold and gave my two thousand baht.
So I thought of this story because of the recent "Asia Cold Snap" (East Asia Cold Wave January 2016). It is a real thing. Having lived in the tropics all our lives, the cold was utterly unbearable. Temperatures can go as low as fifteen degrees Celsius on that open-air overpass. I hope the two thousand helped him through.
And never mind that I lost my "reward" telling this story, because it is more important that you know. It is possible to give, even when you think you have nothing to give. I have a serious lack of "practical smarts" but over the course of one year, I gave away a total of 10,000 baht. That is a lot, especially for a jobless, not-so-street-savvy seventeen year old.
You have the power to give. You do.
Sunday, 17 January 2016
Proverbs 17:3
"The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold,
and the Lord tests hearts"
Many things are going to happen this year. For the first half, there is the extra Calculus BC and Physics 2 AP exams that I need to self study. As of now I already dashed through fluid mechanics, sequences, L'Hôpital's rule, and improper integrals within two weeks. Burn, burn, burn!
Questioning my choices too. Life can be so easy if I pursued humanities as my profession. I guess easy topics have no appeal to me. Sciences are more gruelling, but the elegance of the universe's ways is far more aesthetic than all the humanities. Humanities are earthly, while sciences are transcendental. So this is why.
The burning is not so much in making time for studies, but making time for God. The test is not about whether I can retain my sanity, but whether I can keep God a part of my life. To be honest, I almost canceled this post to do more studying. But hey, priorities~
It is very tempting to take credit for myself, which is why there is the push and pull of success and failure. Hopefully by the end I will remember how I got there. As I have learned last month, no temptation is too great to overcome. I can combat the weakness of my flesh and humble myself. This is another test unto itself. The way is not so simple, but I will not be alone~
For the second half of this year and onwards, I will not be in Thailand. For sure. I have not applied for any Thai universities so it will be a whirl leaving my home of (by then) eighteen years. Living with my parents is a sweet little haven, a nice and protected bubble. Whereas being alone out there, no one will be around to rein me in. What I do is up to me. The Lord tests hearts.
But until then, these APs. Burn away, honey.
and the Lord tests hearts"
Many things are going to happen this year. For the first half, there is the extra Calculus BC and Physics 2 AP exams that I need to self study. As of now I already dashed through fluid mechanics, sequences, L'Hôpital's rule, and improper integrals within two weeks. Burn, burn, burn!
Questioning my choices too. Life can be so easy if I pursued humanities as my profession. I guess easy topics have no appeal to me. Sciences are more gruelling, but the elegance of the universe's ways is far more aesthetic than all the humanities. Humanities are earthly, while sciences are transcendental. So this is why.
The burning is not so much in making time for studies, but making time for God. The test is not about whether I can retain my sanity, but whether I can keep God a part of my life. To be honest, I almost canceled this post to do more studying. But hey, priorities~
It is very tempting to take credit for myself, which is why there is the push and pull of success and failure. Hopefully by the end I will remember how I got there. As I have learned last month, no temptation is too great to overcome. I can combat the weakness of my flesh and humble myself. This is another test unto itself. The way is not so simple, but I will not be alone~
For the second half of this year and onwards, I will not be in Thailand. For sure. I have not applied for any Thai universities so it will be a whirl leaving my home of (by then) eighteen years. Living with my parents is a sweet little haven, a nice and protected bubble. Whereas being alone out there, no one will be around to rein me in. What I do is up to me. The Lord tests hearts.
But until then, these APs. Burn away, honey.
Friday, 4 December 2015
1 Corinthians 13:7
"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things".
Most people are familiar with verses four to six, but it is seven that strikes me the hardest. The last phrase in particular. The Chinese translation is the best: "love never ceases". 愛是永不止息. It is much easier said than done because love never ceases - unconditionally. No requital, no acknowledgement, no nothing.
One of the many tough things love must endure, is nothingness. Especially with being a conversationally inert person, I deal with nothingness every day. I am just a minor character that barely stirs a thing in anyone's life. I should be a master at facing nothingness by now. Or so I thought.
There is one such person that I cared for dearly over the past year or two. For once I felt understood by someone, and that in return I could be more than a human backdrop. I was so moved. Now that I have had a taste of emotional attachment, I do not know how to live without it. This friend is extremely significant to me, although I am maybe not equally significant. A moon can revolve around the Earth, but the Earth still revolves around the sun..
Added on top of the nothingness are the flaws and not so innocent aspects I learned of this friend. Rather than turning away in disgust, it makes me even more determined to hold on. I cannot let go until I have steered my friend away from sin. From hell. If I cannot manage to be of help, I will have failed miserably. The prospect of hell.. will haunt me forever. It is unbearable. I starve hungerlessly and worry sleeplessly.
All that, and unable to communicate.
It is not like I am being ignored, but most people interpret my cursed unresponsiveness as a leave-me-alone. If only I were not so subdued in nature, I could quite simply mend this silence. But no. I am very subdued. I cause a lot of drama for myself and drown in anxiety instead.
What usually happens was my psychological ego defence mechanism steps in. Too much stress. Specifically, reaction formation, inverting an anxiety-inducing belief to its opposite. When it gets tough caring about someone.. I stop caring. And suddenly there is only a meager handful of people left that I care about. My love died. I am such a moron for giving up on people. Presently, I am faced with nothingness from this very dear friend of mine. Do I let this love die too?
Love endures all things. Love never ceases.
Why should it matter that I am lesser in someone's life? Why should I stop praying? Why should I stop caring? If I really cared then I would see it through. We still have six months left, and I am determined to make things right. Sow some seeds at least. Then I will be able to part ways confidently.
But until then, I must wade through the nothingness. It will hurt. It will drive me crazy. But if this truly is love then it will endure.
Most people are familiar with verses four to six, but it is seven that strikes me the hardest. The last phrase in particular. The Chinese translation is the best: "love never ceases". 愛是永不止息. It is much easier said than done because love never ceases - unconditionally. No requital, no acknowledgement, no nothing.
One of the many tough things love must endure, is nothingness. Especially with being a conversationally inert person, I deal with nothingness every day. I am just a minor character that barely stirs a thing in anyone's life. I should be a master at facing nothingness by now. Or so I thought.
There is one such person that I cared for dearly over the past year or two. For once I felt understood by someone, and that in return I could be more than a human backdrop. I was so moved. Now that I have had a taste of emotional attachment, I do not know how to live without it. This friend is extremely significant to me, although I am maybe not equally significant. A moon can revolve around the Earth, but the Earth still revolves around the sun..
Added on top of the nothingness are the flaws and not so innocent aspects I learned of this friend. Rather than turning away in disgust, it makes me even more determined to hold on. I cannot let go until I have steered my friend away from sin. From hell. If I cannot manage to be of help, I will have failed miserably. The prospect of hell.. will haunt me forever. It is unbearable. I starve hungerlessly and worry sleeplessly.
All that, and unable to communicate.
It is not like I am being ignored, but most people interpret my cursed unresponsiveness as a leave-me-alone. If only I were not so subdued in nature, I could quite simply mend this silence. But no. I am very subdued. I cause a lot of drama for myself and drown in anxiety instead.
What usually happens was my psychological ego defence mechanism steps in. Too much stress. Specifically, reaction formation, inverting an anxiety-inducing belief to its opposite. When it gets tough caring about someone.. I stop caring. And suddenly there is only a meager handful of people left that I care about. My love died. I am such a moron for giving up on people. Presently, I am faced with nothingness from this very dear friend of mine. Do I let this love die too?
Love endures all things. Love never ceases.
Why should it matter that I am lesser in someone's life? Why should I stop praying? Why should I stop caring? If I really cared then I would see it through. We still have six months left, and I am determined to make things right. Sow some seeds at least. Then I will be able to part ways confidently.
But until then, I must wade through the nothingness. It will hurt. It will drive me crazy. But if this truly is love then it will endure.
Saturday, 7 November 2015
Jeremiah 29:13
"You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart".
HEEEEEY! I AM HEEEEERE!!! WHERE ARE YOU MY LOOOOORD??? A lot of us might have felt this way at some point. The key phrase is "all your heart".
You will find God when you truly truly truly believe that He will show his presence. That He will make His presence known to you. Now. Literally. Oooh, starting to doubt? Then you do not seek Him with all your heart. The doubt is holding you back. A part of you is expecting God to not show up.
Do you want God only for a minute or two, but not more? Then you do not seek Him with all your heart. If you only want God to solve your current problem but not to guide you further in the future, you seek a quick solution and not God Himself. Question your motives honestly.
The main hindrance for hardcore skeptics is that they seek with strong doubts in their hearts, and have no mind to make a commitment. If I were a skeptic, of course I would hope that God does not appear in a cloud of smoke. If He did then my stance would be proven wrong, and I would have to own up to that crazy Christian.
An even greater obstacle: thinking that you have no need of Him. If you think yourself greater than God, you will not see Him. You will not notice His presence because you are so absorbed with yourself.
Your most pressing question might be about the credibility of the senses. How does anyone know that they are not hallucinating God? I suppose this is all part of God's doing. Everyone must exercise a deep wanting of God before He can appear to us, in order to make us truer followers. There is no tool. There is no shorter cut. There is only seeking with all your heart.
A song I love:
讚美之泉 - 我心切切渴慕你
Do not give up yet. Keep trying, keep seeking, with all your heart~
HEEEEEY! I AM HEEEEERE!!! WHERE ARE YOU MY LOOOOORD??? A lot of us might have felt this way at some point. The key phrase is "all your heart".
You will find God when you truly truly truly believe that He will show his presence. That He will make His presence known to you. Now. Literally. Oooh, starting to doubt? Then you do not seek Him with all your heart. The doubt is holding you back. A part of you is expecting God to not show up.
Do you want God only for a minute or two, but not more? Then you do not seek Him with all your heart. If you only want God to solve your current problem but not to guide you further in the future, you seek a quick solution and not God Himself. Question your motives honestly.
The main hindrance for hardcore skeptics is that they seek with strong doubts in their hearts, and have no mind to make a commitment. If I were a skeptic, of course I would hope that God does not appear in a cloud of smoke. If He did then my stance would be proven wrong, and I would have to own up to that crazy Christian.
An even greater obstacle: thinking that you have no need of Him. If you think yourself greater than God, you will not see Him. You will not notice His presence because you are so absorbed with yourself.
Your most pressing question might be about the credibility of the senses. How does anyone know that they are not hallucinating God? I suppose this is all part of God's doing. Everyone must exercise a deep wanting of God before He can appear to us, in order to make us truer followers. There is no tool. There is no shorter cut. There is only seeking with all your heart.
A song I love:
讚美之泉 - 我心切切渴慕你
Do not give up yet. Keep trying, keep seeking, with all your heart~
Sunday, 1 November 2015
Matthew 20:26
"But whoever would be great among you must be your servant".
Said Jesus. In the context of this chapter, a mother asks Jesus for her two sons to have a place by His very side in His kingdom. Jesus insists that she does not understand what she is asking for. The mother made her request for want of status, not knowing the heavy duty of servitude it requires.
Paradoxically, the greatest of us must be lowly. A leader is no great leader unless he serves with the vigour a peasant. Even Confucius knew that. He taught that farmers are vital to the agricultural Chinese civilization, and that the Emperor's interest should be for the citizens.
Sometimes I think that Christianity arrived in Asia relatively late because God had faith that Confucius' teachings will hold out for some thousands of years. In recent years with China rising, a lot of Confucian values are lost but God is finally coming..
Likewise, a God is no great God unless He serves us. Jesus humbled himself to heal, teach, and feed the faithful. He was a lowly traveller. He walked in common garment. He was with the lame. He was one on one with the untouchables. Even so He made no commotion about His deeds.
Paradoxically, the greatest of us must be lowly. A leader is no great leader unless he serves with the vigour a peasant. Even Confucius knew that. He taught that farmers are vital to the agricultural Chinese civilization, and that the Emperor's interest should be for the citizens.
Sometimes I think that Christianity arrived in Asia relatively late because God had faith that Confucius' teachings will hold out for some thousands of years. In recent years with China rising, a lot of Confucian values are lost but God is finally coming..
Likewise, a God is no great God unless He serves us. Jesus humbled himself to heal, teach, and feed the faithful. He was a lowly traveller. He walked in common garment. He was with the lame. He was one on one with the untouchables. Even so He made no commotion about His deeds.
Being the King of Kings and Lord of Lords has a different meaning in Christianity. While God is to be feared and respected, He also toils for mankind. God is not an omnipotent authority sipping on the suffering of mankind, but a caring Father. What father does not care for his child? God is not distant, but up close and available.
More than anything, Jesus served us on the cross. He willingly sacrificed His pure life to pay for our sins. It is such a heinous crime to accuse, torture, and kill God, but He was lowly. He let Himself be humiliated. Mortals jeered at the-God-who-could-not-save-Himself. He died the death of a criminal to give us the chance of salvation. This is significantly different from our worldview in which the greatest is often dignified.
It takes a lot to be great. It takes even more for a God to lower Himself before wicked mortals. How great Thou art.
Saturday, 24 October 2015
2 Corinthians 2:4
"For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you".
This verse of Paul's gospel to the Corinthians just about clears up the common misconception of spreading gospels. It is not out of haughtiness or self importance that we spread Christianity. It is not for the sake of elevation or dominance. It is because we believe Christianity to be a necessity of life, and we want to save as many people as possible. It is anguishing to see people without Christ.
To be honest, the worst way I can curse someone is to prevent Christianity from reaching that person, and then hope that it will cause the person to burn in hell. This idea is so terribly evil, I do not wish it on anyone. It takes a lot of hatred to withhold Christianity from someone. Paradoxical?
And what about the people who harness Christianity for power? Of course there are such rotten people. But anyone can take the Christianity label and attach it to the front of their shirt. The word "Christian" gets thrown around too much. Who is or is not a Christian is not for people to judge. It is not for me to judge either. But I know for a fact selfish intentions are discouraged in the Bible, and that abusive power is not at all Christian-like.
Okay, even with good intentions, how does that make it okay to force the gospel on anyone? Are we not all entitled to making our own decisions? Consider a parent and a child. You want your child to have choices, yet you want your child to make the right decisions, even if disagreement makes your relationship go awry. If you really cared about these people, you would do your very best to make sure these people accept the right decision. In this case, the ticket to heaven (as well as the ticket out of hell, if that makes Christ any more desirable).
Then there are the various degrees in which people try. There are those who nag like a mother. Then there are those who utilize brutal force. The ones you probably want to ask about are the violent ones. Do they not demonstrate anger from religion? I suppose "anger" is not the best word. "Frustration" is more fitting. The day everyone stops fighting will be the day everyone no longer cares about each other. Not that this justifies such behavior, but life is full of paradoxes.
At least you now know that someone cares about you. When that person stops nagging you, that is when you should be worried.
But the most important question you want answered is: how do we know that Christ is indeed the ticket to heaven? First consider Fermat's Last Theorem. It is complicated enough in itself. There are relatively simpler ways to explain the theorem's proof, but if you must chase every step of logic it takes more than one hundred pages of hardcore mathematics to prove it (understatement).
Then consider God. God is immeeeeense. If you must know the details to the proof of God, you actually have a better chance understanding the proof of Fermat's Last Theorem. So nobody has proven God huh? In this particular context, not a proof that I know of. But people were not too daft after all for believing in Fermat's Last Theorem, which turns out to be true. Am I too daft for believing in God?
I will not deny that I secretly (not so secretly anymore) hope for people to change their minds from reading my posts, but only because I believe that people need Christ. It is not as if I get recognition for converting my readers. My name is not splashed all over this blog. Not that I even have followers. But I do hope that this gets to the meager readers that I have.
Know that just as how Paul wrote to Corinth, I write to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.
This verse of Paul's gospel to the Corinthians just about clears up the common misconception of spreading gospels. It is not out of haughtiness or self importance that we spread Christianity. It is not for the sake of elevation or dominance. It is because we believe Christianity to be a necessity of life, and we want to save as many people as possible. It is anguishing to see people without Christ.
To be honest, the worst way I can curse someone is to prevent Christianity from reaching that person, and then hope that it will cause the person to burn in hell. This idea is so terribly evil, I do not wish it on anyone. It takes a lot of hatred to withhold Christianity from someone. Paradoxical?
And what about the people who harness Christianity for power? Of course there are such rotten people. But anyone can take the Christianity label and attach it to the front of their shirt. The word "Christian" gets thrown around too much. Who is or is not a Christian is not for people to judge. It is not for me to judge either. But I know for a fact selfish intentions are discouraged in the Bible, and that abusive power is not at all Christian-like.
Okay, even with good intentions, how does that make it okay to force the gospel on anyone? Are we not all entitled to making our own decisions? Consider a parent and a child. You want your child to have choices, yet you want your child to make the right decisions, even if disagreement makes your relationship go awry. If you really cared about these people, you would do your very best to make sure these people accept the right decision. In this case, the ticket to heaven (as well as the ticket out of hell, if that makes Christ any more desirable).
Then there are the various degrees in which people try. There are those who nag like a mother. Then there are those who utilize brutal force. The ones you probably want to ask about are the violent ones. Do they not demonstrate anger from religion? I suppose "anger" is not the best word. "Frustration" is more fitting. The day everyone stops fighting will be the day everyone no longer cares about each other. Not that this justifies such behavior, but life is full of paradoxes.
At least you now know that someone cares about you. When that person stops nagging you, that is when you should be worried.
But the most important question you want answered is: how do we know that Christ is indeed the ticket to heaven? First consider Fermat's Last Theorem. It is complicated enough in itself. There are relatively simpler ways to explain the theorem's proof, but if you must chase every step of logic it takes more than one hundred pages of hardcore mathematics to prove it (understatement).
Then consider God. God is immeeeeense. If you must know the details to the proof of God, you actually have a better chance understanding the proof of Fermat's Last Theorem. So nobody has proven God huh? In this particular context, not a proof that I know of. But people were not too daft after all for believing in Fermat's Last Theorem, which turns out to be true. Am I too daft for believing in God?
I will not deny that I secretly (not so secretly anymore) hope for people to change their minds from reading my posts, but only because I believe that people need Christ. It is not as if I get recognition for converting my readers. My name is not splashed all over this blog. Not that I even have followers. But I do hope that this gets to the meager readers that I have.
Know that just as how Paul wrote to Corinth, I write to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.
Saturday, 17 October 2015
Proverbs 3:5
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding".
and do not lean on your own understanding".
How blind is that, to accept something without questioning? For someone like me going into the science major this sounds like the worst advice ever. But I must say, there is some profound truth behind this.
First of all this verse does not specifically tell us not to question. We can doubt all we like, as long as we get the deed done. God likes to save the Q and A for later. Is it not the same with a lecture? Your question just might be answered before you ask it. Just listen and follow along, and everything will come clear at the end.
There is a common question among us all: why cannot God be clear and straightforward? Why the ambiguity? Why are there so many leaps of faith that require trust? If God could explain everything thoroughly, there would be no need to "trust in the Lord with all your heart". Is it too hard to do even that? There are two ways you can look at this:
1) Actually, if God were to unleash everything it would be too hard for us mortals to understand. Would God still be God if our understanding equalled His? Of course God is difficult to understand. The Bible is difficult to understand. Rather than spend an eternity comprehending, it is simpler to trust. God will let you know what you need to know.
2) If one were to know beforehand the terrible consequences of each and every way that is not God's way, one would complain "that leaves me no choice!". Is freedom not all the rage these days? We complain that God is too ambiguous, but if He were to constantly walk someone through life, it would make the average person flip. Where is my freedom? To keep us fretful mortals complacent it is much easier to not elaborate too much, and let us exercise our trust.
This is why He says: "Do this. Trust me. Your choice". At least, some reasons I can think of.
The bigger question for most people is: why trust God? Of all things, why something less tangible than thin air? Why God? If one must know, the only way is to get to know God Himself. I dare say I am only just getting to know Him even after all these years. I may be a fool for trusting God, but I would be a greater fool for trusting myself.
Then why is it wrong to rely on logic? It is only wrong when it is the only thing you rely on. But then why not, is science not all about logic and reasoning? Oh dear mortals, the wisest of you, from Confucius to Shakespeare, know themselves to be fools! We can have all the knowledge in the world but not have wisdom. Do you consider your wisdom superior to that of the Creator's? Do you make a decision because you trust God, or because you trust yourself? Once you think that you know everything, you will have made your worst mistake.
Maybe you are still doubtful and think me a fool. I have my doubts too, otherwise I must be some magical sage. God is as paradoxial as the world He has created, which our understanding fails at paradoxes. I cannot really answer why I would rather trust an invisible man in the sky than try to untangle a paradox. It only comes down to what you know about God. If God were a stranger to me, I would not understand why I should trust Him. I imagine it is the same for everyone.
If you insist on knowing why you should trust God, the best way is to get to know Him personally. And the best way to know God is to seek Him.
Infinite
With the addition of another category, this blog just about sums up my life.
The Blue Giraffe and I have discussed on this category for a while now. We felt reluctant to share this content as it is understandably unfavourable to most people. But it is a central piece to the adventures of me and the Blue Giraffe, in fact more personal than the introspective category. It is what I feel matters the most. It is the things that I really ought to tell someone about.
The new category is infinite. It is the things I will never stop pursuing. One day I may stop informing, inspiring, instructing, introspecting, interluding, or even introducing.. but what is infinite will stay with me forever.
The Blue Giraffe and I have discussed on this category for a while now. We felt reluctant to share this content as it is understandably unfavourable to most people. But it is a central piece to the adventures of me and the Blue Giraffe, in fact more personal than the introspective category. It is what I feel matters the most. It is the things that I really ought to tell someone about.
The new category is infinite. It is the things I will never stop pursuing. One day I may stop informing, inspiring, instructing, introspecting, interluding, or even introducing.. but what is infinite will stay with me forever.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)