1 Corinthians 10:13

"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it"

This year has been the most gruelling year to date, academically, emotionally, and spiritually. But God has been kind to me. Very kind. He did not deny me the trials necessary for strengthening, and neither did He let me perish under the challenge.

I remember asking countless times to let me tackle my struggles head on, once and for all. The process spanned a couple months and I was tired of dragging this burden. Just let me get over it already! If I must suffer, let it be short and quick. I thought it would be easier that way.

Then I received a stronger dose. It was just enough to stomach safely, but any more could have done me damage. It was one strong dose of temptation. I just wanted out. But everything I had endured up until then, the drag on the tamer incline, allowed me to face a long lasting selfishness of mine.

I like to think of it as the power formula, where P = w/t. God increased the time because He knows that I am not powerful enough, but we still got the work done. Also, I did exercise my power output beyond my usual level. I gained what I needed to, and got stronger from that. So God was kind. Very kind.

After all that God gave me a debriefing. He showed me all the things I could not see back then. Looking back, the whole event was the worst and best thing that happened this year. Had my saddest and happiest moments too.

My time here is far from over. A lot has yet to happen over the next six months. This year is only a precursor to what I must endure later on. I will keep these words close at heart and be reminded that no temptation is too great to overcome.

Nederlands

Prerequisite: none

Hallo!

The Dutch language is classified under Indo European, Germanic, West Germanic, Low Saxon Low Franconian, Low Franconian. English parts at the West Germanic branch, falling into the English category.

This post is only meant to provide a taste of the Dutch language. The grammar is very general and many exceptions are not noted. If you would like to learn conversational Dutch, Duolingo is a great free site to do so.

Here are some Dutch pronunciations given in IPA:

To aid whole words, Google Translate works pretty well.

The Familiar

Nominative pronoun:

*Sometimes je is an unemphasized jij, ze for zij, and we for wij. U is formal.

Verb conjugation:

Possessive pronoun:

Question (vraag):

Demonstrative pronoun:

Number (nummer):



Family (familie):

Colour (kleur):

red (rode)
orange (oranje)
yellow (gele)
green (groene)
blue (blauwe)
purple (paarse)
pink (roze)
brown (bruin)
white (witte)
grey (grijse)
black (zwarte)

Example phrases:

What is that?
(What is that?)
Wat is dat?

Thank you too
(Thank you too)
Dank je ook

I will be hungry and thirsty
(I shall have hunger and thirst)
Ik zul heb honger en dorst

My hand hurts
(My hand does hurt)
Mijn hand doet pijn

The pink pig likes to eat red apples
(The pink pig likes red apples to eat)
Het roze varken houdt van rode appels te eten

What would you like?
(What may it be?)
Wat mag het zijn?

Do we need spoons or forks?

(Have we spoons or forks need?)

Hebben wij lepels of vorken nodig?

They come from The Netherlands

(They come out Netherlands)

Zij kommen uit Nederland

The Unfamiliar

De / Het:

De and het are the "the" articles used for gender and neuter nouns. Here is a general guide to when to use which. I like to think of het as "it". The best way is not to memorize, but to accept the Dutch culture of what is considered "the" or "it", gendered or neutral.

The sandwiches (de boterhammen)
The man and woman (de man en de vrouw)
The artist (de kunstenaar)

The writing (het schrijven)
The cup (het kopje)
The book (het boek)

Lig / Zit / Sta:

Use these verbs when describing where something is. Here is a general guide to which verb to use.

The papers lie between the boxes.
De papieren liggen tussen de dozen.
My jacket lies under the bed.
Mijn jas ligt onder de bed.
A (dead) dog lies on the street.
Een hond ligt op de straat.

There sit women in the house.
Er zitten vrouwen in het huis.
The cat sits on the table.
De kat zit op de tafel.
Yuck, raisins sit in my bread.
Yuck, rozijnen zitten in mijn brood.

The lamp stands nearby the bookshelf.
De lamp staat nabij de boekenplank.
The buildings stand near the city.
De gebrouwen staan dichtbij de stadt.
There stands food in the kitchen.
Er staan eten in de keuken.

Interesting words of note:

zwembad = swim bath (swimming pool)
tijdschrift = time writing (magazine)
ziekenhuis = sick house (hospital)
dierentuin = animal garden (zoo)
schildpad = shield toad (turtle)
neushoorn = nose horn (rhinoceros)
vliegveld = fly field (airport)
hoofdstad = head city (capital)

This is only a sparse quarter of the Duolingo course. Still trying to get comfortable with some very Dutch words and patterns such as om te and er. Might update if I ever do.

Doei~

Braid Theory

Prerequisite: algebra 2

Got more to share from Alexei Sossinsky's Knots: Mathematics with a Twist~

J. W. H. Alexander figured that all knots can be represented as a closed braid. On the left you have a braid between the dashed lines, closed in such a way to make a knot. On the right you have the reverse, a knot split open to make a braid.

So the idea came about that maybe braids can help classify knots, except that not all knots are conveniently coiled. Before we go any further, some terminology:

smoothing: operation on an intersection

orientation (a): curve direction (indicated by arrows)
country (b): curve bounded regions
infinite region (c): the space outside the knot, also considered a country
Seifert circle: smoothed country
desingularization: to make planar representation of a knot with smoothings

nested: two Seifert circles of same orientation inside one another
change of infinity: to bring a point in an unnested Seifert circle out to the infinite region (top right quadrant)

in turmoil: country with two edges of different Seifert circles with same orientation about the country (indicated with weighted arrows)
perestroika: to make new crossings on country in turmoil (bottom right quadrant)

With all that, Pierre Vogel made the Vogel Algorithm, which can coil any knot for making braids. It helps to digitize knot computations as follows:

do smoothing

if in turmoil

--> do perestroika

--> do smoothing

if unnested

--> do change of infinity

done, you have a coiled knot~

(cut it into a braid if you like)

So can braids classify knots? Maybe. Kind of. Not sure.

Let us examine some product properties of braids:

The way of multiplying braids is shown on the left, where you join the bottom of a braid to the top of another. If you think about it thoroughly enough, you can agree that this operation is associative but not commutative. In the middle you have a braid B joined to its mirror image B^-1, which yields the trivial braid e. Note that any braid B joined to the trivial braid is still braid B just as in multiplying by 1.

There is a system of algebraic coding for naming braids, based on elementary braids. The negative superscript indicates an undercrossing.

The subscripts tell which column the crossing is at. The algebraic code of the braid in this example is written at the base.

But there are cases such as these where it does not matter which elementary braid you list first. In this example, i = 1 and j = 3, in which | 1 - 3 | = 2. It is commutative.

Emil Artin went further with this three-braid isotopy. Jeez, what do we do about it. Braids are almost as finicky as knots..

Caresse sur l'océan

First find out about introspective.

caresse sur l’océan
tenderly carry my luve and his luvess
on forth to an expanse of sea and sky
to where the moon is the colour of honey
as they cruise in bliss
a guardian battles the elements
donning cuirass and dress
with spear and petal in hand
to watch over their ship on wings of vigilance
tho’ it were ten thousand mile
to fill their sails with streams of blessing
’til a’ the seas gang dry
I will luve thee still my dear
still as the reservoir in my heart
be it now or then
may my luve and his luvess
caress on the ocean

The Imagery

The soft sea.
A sailing ship.
A guardian.

The Content

This entry is extremely short, but it has given sufficient context. Many references to A Red, Red Rose by the Scottish bard Robert Burns (which I got to sing a version by Rene Clausen at a choir festival).

The actual chronological order in which I wrote this "sea series" is Letting Go, Sea Song, Caresse sur l'océan, written mid October, mid November, and mid December respectively. Each entry was conceived independently. I swear the matching themes are coincidental. Perhaps this is the very wonder of my introspective project, finding things about myself that I otherwise would not have noticed. These little capsules of preserved thoughts may not be much by themselves, but it appears profound in the bigger picture.

Those months were crucial to me in the lifelong run. I finally got myself over this stumbling block and readjusted my motivations. We kids think we are mature, but it is with realizations such as these that prove us wrong. How wrong I was! And I suspect this story is not over yet. Just a little feeling that there is one more thing I have yet to learn from this..

I cannot promise that I will not write about the sea again. It comes back to me all the time.

Letting Go

First find out about introspective.

Chronological order: Letting Go, Sea Song, Caresse sur l'océan

letting go

of what never was

the first word

the final glance

all a dream

but the sorrow is real

to bask in a glow

that meant naught

every breath

gone over the hills

wondering if this brine

can ever be sweet

for the red die

and the green wilt

the aftermath of saline intimacy

drains blue to a grizzle

return, daughter of salt

to the ocean’s embrace

sands may crumble

but the seas will never dry

the plains you love so much

they are no more

the cliffs you love so much

they are no more

let the waves nourish

your diluted veins

as a free spirit leap up high

and as sea foam on the rocks

let go

The Imagery

Salt.
Animals and plants dwindle away.
Blue fades to grey.
Return from land to sea.
Sea foam sloshing off the rocks.

The Content

Another sea themed entry, comparable to Sea Song and contrastable to Caresse sur l'océan. This piece is particularly ambiguous, but if you consider the connotations I associate with certain symbols it will be clearer.

I would very much rather have you make the connections yourself. An excess of words will break the magic.

Size Does Matter

Prerequisite: none

I had a curiosity for gigantic organisms. Gigantic, as in dinosaurs, eighteen meter sharks and five meter sloths. Then I came across the right book. Here are the highlights of John Tyler Bonner's book Why Size Matters: From Bacteria to Blue Whales.

First of all, we all love pictures. This book has tons of cute illustrations. This diagram compares the sizes of various species in the eukaryotic domain. Adorable, especially specimen number 10..

That is a tapeworm.

Some other awesome organisms introduced, such as the rotor flagellum bacteria. Just when you thought humans were cool for using wheels and axles, these bacteria were born with it!

And then some maths. Roughly. The little fishlike squiggle (∝) means "proportional to". This is a summary of general trends that organisms follow:

Some other trends are (diameter ∝ height) and (size ∝ distribution distance). In fact, most organisms seem to aim for a common size-distance ratio. That is very mind blowing.

This book also introduces the Reynolds number, defined as the ratio of inertial force and viscous force. It points out that although microorganisms appear to swim relatively fast with their rapidly beating cilia, that is not actually the case. If you were one of these puny germs, the Reynolds number would be extremely low as viscous environment has way more effect on your microscopic inertial mass.

And my very favourite, this graph:

Organisms of one centimeter appear to be the slowest in the race, while the two extremes of the size spectrum are incredibly fast. So you see, size does matter.

Lorentz Transformation

Prerequisite: physics, algebra 2

Einstein's book Relativity: The Special and the General Theory is not the usual kind of pie that I stomach, but hey, the cover states: "a clear explanation that anyone can understand". Anyone. Hmm.. It is not really anyone's fault, which Steven Pinker explains rather nicely.

Nonetheless, here is my shot at following the derivation of the Lorentz Transformation. I did manage to squeeze out the final result, although I may not have applied the correct maths or logic. If anyone can spot an error that would be great. Even better, tell me about it.

In the below diagram, the coordinate system k' is moving away from k. At the origin of each "point of view" is a photon. The k' photon is moving away from the k photon in the positive x direction at velocity v (which I did not label..).

First, we can agree that the distance a photon covers is (speed of light)*(time). This applies for both k and k'. The two are related by transformation constants λ and μ. In the former case, the photons are moving in the positive x direction; in the latter, negative x.

Add 3) and 4) to isolate x'; subtract to isolate ct'. Introduce constants a and b to unite λ and μ, and for convenience.

Pick the origin of k where x = 0 and substitute into 5) to get 6), recalling that velocity is displacement over time ( v = x/t ). For comparison between scale increments ∆x and ∆x', pick the points t = 0 and t' = 0 to substitute into 5). From k' point of view, ∆x = 1/a as seen in 7).

*The substitution of constant a is from rearrangement of 6).

And from k point of view, ∆x' = a(1-(v^2/c^2)) as seen in 7a). Although ∆x and ∆x' are not the same in different perspectives, they should. Setting the two equal yields 7b).

Substitute 6) and 7b) into 5) as needed, to get 8). Substitute 8) into (x'^2 -c^2t'^2) to confirm that it equals (x^2 - c^2t^2). Except, does (x'^2 -c^2t'^2) really equal (x^2 - c^2t^2)?

There is argument that (x-ct) and (x'-ct') are incorrectly squared, since the correct square roots are as shown below:

But maybe the squaring came beforehand, leading to that conclusion (sorry for the transgender-looking x):

So there you have it. Your final product is equation 8). If the teacher ever threw you the equation for Lorentz Transformation, now you know where it comes from. Kind of. Maybe it is true that "anyone" can understand such things, but it is just a matter of time. And choosing manageable perspectives. Got to keep working at it.

Ai Pioppi

Prerequisite: physics, algebra 2/geometry

The Bicycle of Death. I bet it sounds more menacing in Italian. It is one of the many human-powered rides at Ai Pioppi.

This ride just about sums up my second quarter of AP Physics but I am not supposed to go into that, am I? The Blue Giraffe is protesting now. But I must comment on how much energy goes to friction and moving the hardware itself! While it is tough work for two men, two children would be dealing with even greater percentages of their body masses. It is almost a fancy workout equipment.

But then that is the power of machines, pedalling a greater arc length for moving a shorter arc length along the track.

I see there is also an extension from the carriage, through the center of the circle, to the other side. It may contribute as a counter mass of the carriage to facilitate riding towards the top, and as an inertial mass to uhh, keep people hanging up there.

F = Ia here refers to the weight of this counter mass (the acceleration should have been called g tangent).

I have not quite labelled everything thoroughly, missing a couple tangent subscripts here and there, but whatever. And I put zero at the top. And I should be using degrees in physics. Meh. Point is, gravity does some of the work.

It is also interesting to note the carriage's gradual accumulation of height. This ride makes a visual for the net accumulation of energy, of human input and friction output. And each time the carriage passes through ground level, it does so at a higher speed.

The place has come a long way from welding seesaws and roundabouts for little kids..

Seismic Wave

Prerequisite: earth science

Car crashed about a month ago. "Crash" is an overstatement. "Bump" more like. Yet the impulse was enough to crush the little Toyota. It was a young car too, with a red number plate and not yet one week in possession.

The cracks are almost like the impact frozen in time. Most likely not many cracks are due to material foliation since glass is an amorphous solid. From what I heard, the car hood actually sprung up and smashed itself. Maybe the epicenter of the impact can be pinpointed with these rough circles, or that the effect of P and S waves are distinguishable?

What I am really driving at is that glass smashing might be something worth investigating. Not that I have the means of doing so. But where patterns are concerned, numbers can be introduced~

If you feel inspired to smash some glass, please feel free to do so. Be sure to tell me about it.

As of now we got the headlights repaired. But the spiderweb on the windshield is still there, held by tape.

1 Corinthians 13:7

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things".

Most people are familiar with verses four to six, but it is seven that strikes me the hardest. The last phrase in particular. The Chinese translation is the best: "love never ceases". 愛是永不止息. It is much easier said than done because love never ceases - unconditionally. No requital, no acknowledgement, no nothing.

One of the many tough things love must endure, is nothingness. Especially with being a conversationally inert person, I deal with nothingness every day. I am just a minor character that barely stirs a thing in anyone's life. I should be a master at facing nothingness by now. Or so I thought.

There is one such person that I cared for dearly over the past year or two. For once I felt understood by someone, and that in return I could be more than a human backdrop. I was so moved. Now that I have had a taste of emotional attachment, I do not know how to live without it. This friend is extremely significant to me, although I am maybe not equally significant. A moon can revolve around the Earth, but the Earth still revolves around the sun..

Added on top of the nothingness are the flaws and not so innocent aspects I learned of this friend. Rather than turning away in disgust, it makes me even more determined to hold on. I cannot let go until I have steered my friend away from sin. From hell. If I cannot manage to be of help, I will have failed miserably. The prospect of hell.. will haunt me forever. It is unbearable. I starve hungerlessly and worry sleeplessly.

All that, and unable to communicate.

It is not like I am being ignored, but most people interpret my cursed unresponsiveness as a leave-me-alone. If only I were not so subdued in nature, I could quite simply mend this silence. But no. I am very subdued. I cause a lot of drama for myself and drown in anxiety instead.

What usually happens was my psychological ego defence mechanism steps in. Too much stress. Specifically, reaction formation, inverting an anxiety-inducing belief to its opposite. When it gets tough caring about someone.. I stop caring. And suddenly there is only a meager handful of people left that I care about. My love died. I am such a moron for giving up on people. Presently, I am faced with nothingness from this very dear friend of mine. Do I let this love die too?

Love endures all things. Love never ceases.

Why should it matter that I am lesser in someone's life? Why should I stop praying? Why should I stop caring? If I really cared then I would see it through. We still have six months left, and I am determined to make things right. Sow some seeds at least. Then I will be able to part ways confidently.

But until then, I must wade through the nothingness. It will hurt. It will drive me crazy. But if this truly is love then it will endure.

Fluctuations

Prerequisite: algebra 2, physics

At the beach of Anantasila Resort, Hua Hin. Not a particularly pretty beach, but that is besides the point. Got me some data on wave periods.

Of course, the ideal is to record the amplitudes as well, over a sufficient number of hours or days, and preferably where there are no anti-erosion tidebreakers. But hey, amateur here~

Here is my very well labeled numberline of wave occurrences over four minutes and eleven seconds (256s).

The data is not fine enough to zoom into, nor numerous enough to zoom out of.. Not sure what to make of this but it was fun nonetheless (I am so brilliant at producing results).

The day right after this observation I went to Vana Nava Water Park. There was this wave pool where a machine generated tides for people to bob on floats. It was perfectly regular in its periods and amplitudes, whereas waves on a real beach has natural fluctuations.

Nature has a thing for order in the chaos in the order in the chaos in the..

Cactus Chronicles

Prerequisite: none

This baby is coming home with me!

Wandered around Cicada Night Market, Hua Hin on a Friday night. Adopted this buddy for fifty baht. Barely half a pinky wide, with only a few white spots indicating where spikes will sprout. There were many bloomed cacti to choose from, but I am in for a surprise with this youngster.

The care is apparently very simple. Water once a week, to the point where water gushes out of the pot base. The cactus does not die abruptly but turns yellow or white first, so that there is time for saving. It needs some four hours of sunlight every day. I suppose a cactus can withstand drastic temperature changes as a desert's environment is such.

Great companion plant for lazy people like me. Go get one now~

Will update on a separate blog: Cactus Chronicles.

Sea Song

First find out about introspective.

Chronological order: Letting Go, Sea Song, Caresse sur l'océan

sea song

singing a shanty

gently tugging at my ankles

calling me home

how far had I drifted

to forget my Father

vast and deep

waiting with an open embrace

the shore whispers

words of wisdom

guiding me to whence I came

the waves

crests and troughs

reach for whence He came

how far had I strayed

to forget my faith

steady and true

resting in my heart’s trenches

the waters overflow

vessels of flesh

purifying my past evils

the salts

grains and crystals

season my harsh speech

the ocean blue

a sea of song

sings of homecoming

off the sand

over the foam

through the rolls

into the sea

you waded out

The Imagery

An expanse of sea.
Home.
Receive. Nurture. Cleanse.

Wading out.

The Content

This is my most recent entry as of now, from some time in October. Now that I am spending my weekend in Hua Hin, it feels fit for sharing.

I have not seen the ocean in ages. When I used to live in Rayong it was so natural for me to see it every weekend. For me the sea symbolizes home and where I came from. This should clarify many other sea references.

Microtones

Followup of Harmonic Intervals and Resonance

Prerequisite: music theory, physics, algebra 2

Most of us are taught that Db and C# enharmonic, or are the same notes in different notation. Quite evidently, they share the same key on keyboards and same frets on guitars. I suppose it is convenient to assume that they are practically the same.

Except they are theoretically different, or microscopically different. A lot of instruments are tuned with perfect fifths, which is the traditional way to do it. Actually, this causes the enharmonic notes to misalign by tiny microtones.

This difference between enharmonic notes is a particular nuisance to fixed pitch instruments such as the piano and guitar. It causes certain chords and intervals to become significantly muddy and out of tune. To solve this problem the 12-TET (Tone Equal Temperament) was made, also known as  12-EDO (Equal Division of Octave).

12-T means that there are twelve distinct notes in the system, which in our current case helps to eliminate the distinction between enharmonic notes. The E means that the perceived relationship between each neighbouring tone is equal. The final T, for temperament, is the system of note pitches that an instrument assumes. Most of our music is in 12-TET .

In 12-TET, the relation between two semitones is the twelfth root of two. To clarify "twelfth root of two":

The number two comes from the fact that humans perceive pitch logarithmically. Two notes that are one octave apart, having a frequency ratio of 1: 2, sounds "the same".

The frequency in Hertz of a microtone within an equal temperament can be expressed as such:

where m is the order of the microtone, n is the number of distinct microtones in the octave, and ƒ is the fundamental frequency or reference note. Which means, one octave can have as many or less equal tones as you like. You can have 5-TET, 17-TET, 144-TET, or set two 143-TET microtones as one microtone. Experiment to your heart's desire! Microtones do not have to be a nuisance.

Some fascinating microtonal albums:

Brendan Byrnes - Micropangaea
Cryptic Ruse - Chains of Smoke

The microtone is not a modern concept. In fact it used to be the norm, especially with ancient folks having a keener sense of pitch. Some people have engineered microtonal instruments such as the microtonal guitar and fluid piano for traditional music. It helps to play maqamat where microtones are often used to sharpen or flatten "corners", or to build special modes. They are not equal temperaments, but tones microtones of varying sizes are involved.

Go to Xenharmonic for further reading~

Internet Folk

Prerequisite: none

First note, singing in this very low key because I cannot find my capo. Second note, the b string sounds very off because it is terribly rusty. Thirdly, only vaguely remembered the lyrics. Excuses, excuses, excuses. And bad fret shifting thank you very much.

Should be downright honest with you and say guitar and vocal is not my main (gamer's excuse: my main is a level 99 piano). Whatever. As you can tell I am not a perfectionist, but who cares. We are folks.

Without further ado, this is Please Don't Say You Love Me by Gabrielle Aplin from English Rain:

Been thinking about how music used to be. Before stages and celebrities, and even before concerts and nobilities. Just folks at home. Or in the neighbourhood. Or on the road. Without fangirl shrieks, without serious formalities. Music of amateur quality.

Also, our current folks. Internet folks, with a webcam audience. A blend of folk practices and internet culture. Here is me in my sleepwear from a while back in October. Calculator lying around after some calculus, and my homework reflected in the guitar. Very casual indeed.

I am not going to be snotty and insist that live music is the only way to communicate soul. Rather, it is interesting to observe the effect of "internet folk" practices on performance. The web  has grown a lot as a platform for sharing homemade music.

If Gabrielle Aplin is not folk enough, Lisa Hannigan might be of preferable taste.

Jeremiah 29:13

"You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart".

HEEEEEY! I AM HEEEEERE!!! WHERE ARE YOU MY LOOOOORD??? A lot of us might have felt this way at some point. The key phrase is "all your heart".

You will find God when you truly truly truly believe that He will show his presence. That He will make His presence known to you. Now. Literally. Oooh, starting to doubt? Then you do not seek Him with all your heart. The doubt is holding you back. A part of you is expecting God to not show up.

Do you want God only for a minute or two, but not more? Then you do not seek Him with all your heart. If you only want God to solve your current problem but not to guide you further in the future, you seek a quick solution and not God Himself. Question your motives honestly.

The main hindrance for hardcore skeptics is that they seek with strong doubts in their hearts, and have no mind to make a commitment. If I were a skeptic, of course I would hope that God does not appear in a cloud of smoke. If He did then my stance would be proven wrong, and I would have to own up to that crazy Christian.

An even greater obstacle: thinking that you have no need of Him. If you think yourself greater than God, you will not see Him. You will not notice His presence because you are so absorbed with yourself.

Your most pressing question might be about the credibility of the senses. How does anyone know that they are not hallucinating God? I suppose this is all part of God's doing. Everyone must exercise a deep wanting of God before He can appear to us, in order to make us truer followers. There is no tool. There is no shorter cut. There is only seeking with all your heart.

A song I love:
讚美之泉 - 我心切切渴慕你

Do not give up yet. Keep trying, keep seeking, with all your heart~

Shoes

First find out about introspective.

shoes

try before buy

but I disapprove

because shoes wear out

shoes to last a lifetime

but a pair will not last

without treating it like a last

any thought of forfeit

is to end the walk before it began

and so any amount of trialling

is futile

people are abandoned, betrayed,

worn out

some shattered after fragile age

some broken in bold primes

some deflowered before tender youth

all robbed of a glorious heritage

now spattered with shadows

over skin and sole

the earthly mud of mankind

that defiled

a shoe

The Imagery

Shoe shop.
Walking a pair of shoes.
Muddy shoes.

The Content

This is one of my early entries, probably my second. I am digging this out now to complement my current mood.

What do I know about marriage, or relationships even? True, what do I know? But divorce rates are higher than ever, and all this freedom and adolescent experience has done nothing to improve. Rather, what it seems to do is teach us to flee from commitment. While divorce may be the smarter choice in some cases, a smart choice certainly was not made in the beginning.

A common approach to establishing relationships is to try it. Dive straight in. To bed. Maybe not as immediately as I have exaggerated, but it does happen a lot. Supposedly relationships are a trial and error thing that needs to be tested, but are people not more than shoes? People do get hurt from the end of an intimacy. It is like applying superglue between two people and tearing them apart, and each person dies a little more..

Maqam(at)

Prerequisite: music theory

Most music that we hear today is a descendant of Ionian (do re mi fa so la ti do) and Aeolian mode (la ti do re mi fa so la), which originated in Greece. Those are the most common and familiar modes. Following is possibly the pentatonic system (do re mi so la) or the blues (do re me fa fi so te do).

In the post Harmonic Intervals and Resonance, I emphasized polyphony. It is a strong basis of Western music, which values contrary movement and lush layering. Arabic music on the other hand, has more parallel movement and is relatively sparse in instrumentation. Another thing is its subtlety in pitch. Pitch distinctions go beyond semitones to quartertones, and even microtones.

Enter Maqam World. A maqam is almost a mode, built with trichords, tetrachords, and pentachords. Maqams are not limited to the Arabian world. A lot of Eastern traditional music have similar equivalents to the maqam concept with different structure and microtones that give each its exotic flavour. These pitch subtleties used to be the norm, whereas now we have equal temperament deeply engraved into our brains.

A good place to start is probably oud music~

Matthew 20:26

"But whoever would be great among you must be your servant".

Said Jesus. In the context of this chapter, a mother asks Jesus for her two sons to have a place by His very side in His kingdom. Jesus insists that she does not understand what she is asking for. The mother made her request for want of status, not knowing the heavy duty of servitude it requires.

Paradoxically, the greatest of us must be lowly. A leader is no great leader unless he serves with the vigour a peasant. Even Confucius knew that. He taught that farmers are vital to the agricultural Chinese civilization, and that the Emperor's interest should be for the citizens.

Sometimes I think that Christianity arrived in Asia relatively late because God had faith that Confucius' teachings will hold out for some thousands of years. In recent years with China rising, a lot of Confucian values are lost but God is finally coming..

Likewise, a God is no great God unless He serves us. Jesus humbled himself to heal, teach, and feed the faithful. He was a lowly traveller. He walked in common garment. He was with the lame. He was one on one with the untouchables. Even so He made no commotion about His deeds.

Being the King of Kings and Lord of Lords has a different meaning in Christianity. While God is to be feared and respected, He also toils for mankind. God is not an omnipotent authority sipping on the suffering of mankind, but a caring Father. What father does not care for his child? God is not distant, but up close and available.

More than anything, Jesus served us on the cross. He willingly sacrificed His pure life to pay for our sins. It is such a heinous crime to accuse, torture, and kill God, but He was lowly. He let Himself be humiliated. Mortals jeered at the-God-who-could-not-save-Himself. He died the death of a criminal to give us the chance of salvation. This is significantly different from our worldview in which the greatest is often dignified.

It takes a lot to be great. It takes even more for a God to lower Himself before wicked mortals. How great Thou art.

Learning Languages

Prerequisite: none

My incentive for learning languages is not for conversation (me conversing with a stranger? What a joke!) but for the linguistics. For the sake of language itself. The way it is and its relation to other languages. As of now I know Chinese and English very well, and minimal Japanese, Dutch, Italian, Irish, Turkish, and maybe some Thai.

And also for curiosity. What is masculine or feminine noun? A gender or neuter noun? What are cases? When to use which cases? What is an agglutinative language? An eclipsis? A lenition? Go find out!

Duolingo

Great site to proceed at your own pace. What I like most about it is the convenience of definitions and audio. The interface design is very simple and there are many languages available. And why not, it is completely free. Completely free of additional purchases.

Readlang

The web browser feature similar to Google Translate but waaaaay better. You can read a page in foreign language and click on words you do not know for its definition. No need to flip the dictionary a billion times.

Invest in a language now~

Fermat's Last Theorem

Prerequisite: as much math as possible

Somewhere in a copy of Diophantus' Arithmetica, Fermat jotted down this. Fermat’s Last Theorem:

There is no whole number solution to xⁿ + yⁿ = zⁿ, where n > 2

Brilliant. Except that he never passed down a proof:

“I have a truly marvelous demonstration of this proposition which this margin is too narrow to contain”

So he left mankind to suffer.

It does seem like a simple problem at first, until you realize that it actually represents an infinite amount of equations:

x³ + y³ = z³

x⁴ + y⁴ = z⁴

x⁵ + y⁵ = z⁵

...

and on and on..

Unfortunately, I do not have the mathematical knowledge to comprehend the proof. But even if I can, you probably cannot. Most people cannot. The official proof by Andrew Wiles is over a hundred pages long and contains advanced material (understatement). What I can do though, is break down the process qualitatively (and vaguely).

Pierre de Fermat

contribution: proof for n = 4 (and therefore 8, 12, 16..)

method: infinite descent (on the equation x⁴ + y⁴ = z²)

Infinite descent is a form of proof by contradiction. It first assumes the opposite to be true (that there is a solution), then feeds the hypothetical solution into a recursion. There appears to be infinitely many smaller solutions which cannot be true, since there are finitely many whole numbers in the decreasing direction. This contradiction proves that there cannot be a solution.

All n in multiples of 4 are proven since they can all be written as powers of 4.

Leonard Euler

contribution: proof for n = 3 (and therefore 6, 9, 12..)

method: infinite descent involving imaginary numbers

The proof of n = 3 is essentially an adaptation of Fermat's proof for n = 4, except that several unknowns could be filled with imaginary numbers.

Sophie Germain

contribution: proof for n = Germain Prime (2, 3, 5..)

method: proof by contradiction

A Germain prime is a prime p such that (2p +1) is also prime. Assuming that there is a solution where n = Germain Prime, either x, y, or z is a multiple of n. This assumption restricts the solutions to none at all.

Yutaka Taniyama and Goro Shimura

contribution: Taniyama-Shimura Conjecture

method: comparing Dirichlet L-series of elliptic equations and modular forms

The E-series of a particular elliptic equation tells how many solutions there are using each clock arithmetic. There is an M-series for modular forms. When these mathematicians noticed that the series matched for certain elliptic equations and modular forms, they came up with the Taniyama-Shimura Conjecture:

For every elliptic equation, there is a modular form with the same Dirichlet L-series.

Basically: every elliptic equation has an equivalent modular form.

Gerhard Frey

contribution: correlate Fermat's Last Theorem with Taniyama-Shimura Conjecture

method: rearrange xⁿ + yⁿ = zⁿ into elliptic equation

It so happens that the rearranged elliptic equation of xⁿ + yⁿ = zⁿ does not have a modular form.

If the Taniyama-Shimura Conjecture is true, then this rearranged elliptic equation should have a modular form, which it does not. Such an equation that does not have a modular form would not exist, and so this rearranged equation would not exist, and the original equation would not exist, and there would be no solution to the original equation. Then Fermat's Last Theorem would be true.

In summary: if the Taniyama-Shimura Conjecture is true, then Fermat's Last Theorem is true.

Andrew Wiles

contribution: the proof

method: proving the Taniyama-Shimura Conjecture with Galoisian group theory, Kolyvagin-Flach method, and Isawa theory

To tackle the Taniyama-Shimura Conjecture, one must handle an infinite amount of equations and their infinitely long series. Group theory allowed solutions to be condensed by common properties. As for the rest, I have no idea what is the Kolyvagin-Flach method or the Isawa theory.

Of course this post is an oversimplification. You may refer to http://fermatslasttheorem.blogspot.com/ if you like but personally, I had enough~

2 Corinthians 2:4

"For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you".

This verse of Paul's gospel to the Corinthians just about clears up the common misconception of spreading gospels. It is not out of haughtiness or self importance that we spread Christianity. It is not for the sake of elevation or dominance. It is because we believe Christianity to be a necessity of life, and we want to save as many people as possible. It is anguishing to see people without Christ.

To be honest, the worst way I can curse someone is to prevent Christianity from reaching that person, and then hope that it will cause the person to burn in hell. This idea is so terribly evil, I do not wish it on anyone. It takes a lot of hatred to withhold Christianity from someone. Paradoxical?

And what about the people who harness Christianity for power? Of course there are such rotten people. But anyone can take the Christianity label and attach it to the front of their shirt. The word "Christian" gets thrown around too much. Who is or is not a Christian is not for people to judge. It is not for me to judge either. But I know for a fact selfish intentions are discouraged in the Bible, and that abusive power is not at all Christian-like.

Okay, even with good intentions, how does that make it okay to force the gospel on anyone? Are we not all entitled to making our own decisions? Consider a parent and a child. You want your child to have choices, yet you want your child to make the right decisions, even if disagreement makes your relationship go awry. If you really cared about these people, you would do your very best to make sure these people accept the right decision. In this case, the ticket to heaven (as well as the ticket out of hell, if that makes Christ any more desirable).

Then there are the various degrees in which people try. There are those who nag like a mother. Then there are those who utilize brutal force. The ones you probably want to ask about are the violent ones. Do they not demonstrate anger from religion? I suppose "anger" is not the best word. "Frustration" is more fitting. The day everyone stops fighting will be the day everyone no longer cares about each other. Not that this justifies such behavior, but life is full of paradoxes.

At least you now know that someone cares about you. When that person stops nagging you, that is when you should be worried.

But the most important question you want answered is: how do we know that Christ is indeed the ticket to heaven? First consider Fermat's Last Theorem. It is complicated enough in itself. There are relatively simpler ways to explain the theorem's proof, but if you must chase every step of logic it takes more than one hundred pages of hardcore mathematics to prove it (understatement).

Then consider God. God is immeeeeense. If you must know the details to the proof of God, you actually have a better chance understanding the proof of Fermat's Last Theorem. So nobody has proven God huh? In this particular context, not a proof that I know of. But people were not too daft after all for believing in Fermat's Last Theorem, which turns out to be true. Am I too daft for believing in God?

I will not deny that I secretly (not so secretly anymore) hope for people to change their minds from reading my posts, but only because I believe that people need Christ. It is not as if I get recognition for converting my readers. My name is not splashed all over this blog. Not that I even have followers. But I do hope that this gets to the meager readers that I have.

Know that just as how Paul wrote to Corinth, I write to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.

Language Decryption

Followup of Code Decryption

Prerequisite: none

The Code Book by Simon Singh has a nice chapter on cracking ancient languages.

Hieroglyphs

People first assumed that hieroglyphs were semantic pictographs and ideographs, and nothing more. No one bothered to challenge the assumption since the Ancient Egyptians were supposedly too "primitive" to come up with a phonetic system.

Then Rosetta Stone came around which contained hieroglyphs, demotic, and Greek on one slab, making a convenient crib, except that the Ancient Egyptian language has not been spoken for centuries. When Thomas Young spotted a cartouche on the Rosetta Stone, he suspected that it signified a pharaoh's name and that hieroglyphs might actually be phonetic.

He considered the historical context of several artifacts and associated names with cartouches. He could then deduce the sound values of each character. But his idea died down when he convinced himself that the alphabet was only applied to foreign names. Even with a collection of sounds, it did not seem to make meaning in regular text. At least, it made no sense to him..

Jean-François Champollion came across a cartouche. He figured that the the repeated letters are probably the repeated "s" in "Ramses". Being fluent in Coptic, he further suspected that the circumpunct reads "ra" as a rebus image.

And it worked. Ramses. After much substitution, it turns out the Egyptian hieroglyphs represented an ancestor of the Coptic language where some characters are phonetic and some are semantic. When Champollion traveled to Egypt he could really read hieroglyphs. Read-read hieroglyphs. Read. Hieroglyphs.

Linear B

The Linear B tablet was found on Crete so the first speculation was that it is in Greek. But many Greek words end in "s", and the lack of a common last letter refutes that. Since the consensus was that the tablet contained a lost Minoan language, there was not much deciphering effort.

Alice Kober noted that there are around 100 characters, too much to be alphabetic and too few to be logographic, which makes it syllabic. She also noticed commonly occurring root words and suffixes, indicating an inflective language. It allowed her to associate syllables with the same consonants. Take Japanese as an example (except that Linear B had longer root words):

かく --> かきます
kaku      kakimasu
よむ --> よみます
yomu     yomimasu

つくる --> つくります
tsukuru      tsukurimasu

あぶ --> あびます

abu        abimasu

ぬぐ --> ぬぎます
nugu      nugimasu

Kober did the same analysis and grouped the Linear B characters by consonant, although she did not know what the consonants were.

Michael Ventris examined Kober's work and considered the geographical context of the tablet. He associated a regularly appearing word with "Knossos" and used it as a crib to identify other words such as "Pylos". Soon, he had enough cribs to substitute most of the text and fill in the gaps himself. The text was indeed in Greek, although there were some words he could not recognize. John Chadwick further identified the language as a kind of Archaic Greek. The ending "s" was dropped as a convention.

Proverbs 3:5

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding".

How blind is that, to accept something without questioning? For someone like me going into the science major this sounds like the worst advice ever. But I must say, there is some profound truth behind this.

First of all this verse does not specifically tell us not to question. We can doubt all we like, as long as we get the deed done. God likes to save the Q and A for later. Is it not the same with a lecture? Your question just might be answered before you ask it. Just listen and follow along, and everything will come clear at the end.

There is a common question among us all: why cannot God be clear and straightforward? Why the ambiguity? Why are there so many leaps of faith that require trust? If God could explain everything thoroughly, there would be no need to "trust in the Lord with all your heart". Is it too hard to do even that? There are two ways you can look at this:

1) Actually, if God were to unleash everything it would be too hard for us mortals to understand. Would God still be God if our understanding equalled His? Of course God is difficult to understand. The Bible is difficult to understand. Rather than spend an eternity comprehending, it is simpler to trust. God will let you know what you need to know.

2) If one were to know beforehand the terrible consequences of each and every way that is not God's way, one would complain "that leaves me no choice!". Is freedom not all the rage these days? We complain that God is too ambiguous, but if He were to constantly walk someone through life, it would make the average person flip. Where is my freedom? To keep us fretful mortals complacent it is much easier to not elaborate too much, and let us exercise our trust.

This is why He says: "Do this. Trust me. Your choice". At least, some reasons I can think of.

The bigger question for most people is: why trust God? Of all things, why something less tangible than thin air? Why God? If one must know, the only way is to get to know God Himself. I dare say I am only just getting to know Him even after all these years. I may be a fool for trusting God, but I would be a greater fool for trusting myself.

Then why is it wrong to rely on logic? It is only wrong when it is the only thing you rely on. But then why not, is science not all about logic and reasoning? Oh dear mortals, the wisest of you, from Confucius to Shakespeare, know themselves to be fools! We can have all the knowledge in the world but not have wisdom. Do you consider your wisdom superior to that of the Creator's? Do you make a decision because you trust God, or because you trust yourself? Once you think that you know everything, you will have made your worst mistake.

Maybe you are still doubtful and think me a fool. I have my doubts too, otherwise I must be some magical sage. God is as paradoxial as the world He has created, which our understanding fails at paradoxes. I cannot really answer why I would rather trust an invisible man in the sky than try to untangle a paradox. It only comes down to what you know about God. If God were a stranger to me, I would not understand why I should trust Him. I imagine it is the same for everyone.

If you insist on knowing why you should trust God, the best way is to get to know Him personally. And the best way to know God is to seek Him.

Infinite

With the addition of another category, this blog just about sums up my life.

The Blue Giraffe and I have discussed on this category for a while now. We felt reluctant to share this content as it is understandably unfavourable to most people. But it is a central piece to the adventures of me and the Blue Giraffe, in fact more personal than the introspective category. It is what I feel matters the most. It is the things that I really ought to tell someone about.

The new category is infinite. It is the things I will never stop pursuing. One day I may stop informing, inspiring, instructing, introspecting, interluding, or even introducing.. but what is infinite will stay with me forever.

Break In

First find out about introspective.

break in

through this fortification

a tessellation of anxiety

a defence against itself

the heart invaded after nightfall

frightening echoes

worst fears confirmed

penetrating to the very core

of confidentiality

of buried shame

in fact a liberator

the heart mended before sunrise

gentle words

make me whole

reassembling the broken pieces

of grace

of forgotten charm

in truth a scalpel

remove all festers

dislodge all burdens

rebuild this internal kingdom

so that no other mortal

breaks in

The Imagery

Overnight invasion on a castle.
Healing.
Rebuilding the damage.

The Content

Not that anyone has dug me up in such a way before. But I wish very much that someone would. But I wish even more that no one would. Which is why no one has. Which is why the walls are even there in the first place.

I have not considered why that is. The first half is unwilling to let anyone in, and the second half is relieved that someone came around. Indeed, why? Because two cannot keep a secret? Because I have trust issues? Maybe it has something to do with my evilness (refer to Aşk).

The most likely reason is probably that I do not communicate clearly enough. Or quickly enough. For clarity I must compensate with speed, and for speed with clarity, so I can never have both. And people are usually not patient enough to wait half an hour before I finally string the right words together. Not that I expect anyone to. That would be insane.

So I fabricated the second half? Ya, I pretty much did. I imagine that the treatment would hurt at first, but that it would be liberating in a way I have never known.

At the very end I specify "mortals" since God is always allowed in. Always allowed.

Aşk

First find out about introspective.

aşk

suspended over the lake

a torn penumbra

lingering lost

hunched towards the depths

where untold fears

gloomily gaze back

through the opaque veil

a subconsciousness that abhors

warmth and illumination

and so hides in the dark deep

chasing shades

all things bright and beautiful

flit overhead

while the swan

on the blurry waterline

stranded on the edge

of submergence

and flight

of hatred

and love

The Imagery

Swan on a lake.
Birds in bright skies.
Creatures in dark waters.

The Content

If you have read the introspective post and considered the last line of this piece, you can deduce that "aşk" means "love". It is, and it is in fact Turkish.

This is one of my heavier entries. The mood is indeed gloomy. It is about choosing between right and wrong. I find it interesting that I focus more on the darker side than the brighter side. It seems that I am very conscious about keeping corruption at bay.

People have no idea how evil I can be deep down. I know about it, and yet I cannot get rid of it. Some days I feel optimistic about the battle, but other days I just want to be the meanest, most selfish, unforgiving person.

All this is pretty dark for a piece titled "love". Maybe for me the meaning of love is to overcome all that. That is what makes love so great. To love without overcoming hatred is no feat, whereas loving despite the hatred is the epitome of love.