"Commit your work to the Lord,
and your plans will be established"
In January I was only halfway through an AP physics 1 and AP calculus AB course. Scoring all fives in AP physics 1 and 2, and AP calculus BC seemed crazy, having to cram all that preparation in four months. Nevermind getting a five, even with only one AP chemistry course last year I scored a four.
But I must continuously remind myself why I want this. Is it for my own glory? Not so. But I want this dice roll to be a testimony, whether it helps me achieve extreme goals or keeps me safe at home.
Does this have anything to do with getting myself far away from home? To some extent. Having my parents near I cannot do much without getting scolded for being ridiculous. Such as what I did here. For starving myself. For throwing away money. Stupid girl.
In the long term, being educated in physics gives me a say in the world. Science is the new religion. Religion is the new heresy. Whether this is my fight, that is for God to decide.
As of now, two weeks until the exam, my possible result is still uncertain. The AP Physics B exam does nothing in predicting for the new exam. Last year only 5% of test takers scored a 5. As much as 60% did not even manage to pass.
I am predicted 67% on my first takes of the new exams (at least a pass, eh) largely due to unfamiliarity with the free response section. It does have quite a variety of activities other than pure calculation. If I do get a decent score, that would be a miracle.
Saturday 16 April 2016
Sunday 27 March 2016
The Weight of Unforgivingness
This is another short story from my writing hobby, two years ago. It came to mind the other day when a friend of mine was surprised that I do not "hate" anyone. At most I find some people uneasy or inconvenient, but not enough to wish something terrible on them. This story pretty much sums up why.
And of course this is one of the better pieces. Otherwise I would not dare show it eh.
I died yesterday morning, at 3:00am.
My parents found my body at 7:00am.
My funeral was held the next day, at 6:00pm.
I’m not dead.
At least I don’t think I am.
It suddenly grows bright in the coffin and my body burns alight, although I don’t feel it. I peel myself away from my grey flesh and swim through the furnace. Crying with bowed heads are my family, best friends, and closest teachers, all cladded in black. I can imagine that if I were still alive, their concern for me will certainly melt my core. Mother sobs uncontrollably into father’s arms while my grandmother only manages the slightest sniffle. My melting pot of love goes sour. Why, is a grandchild not significant? I knew it all along.
My grandmother was (and still is, last time I knew) a grumpy person. She would throw fits, make a mess, and argue about everything. In her good moods, she babbled TV commentary, lectured the obvious, and ventured to tinker with the house. My obedient mother slaves away, cleaning after my grandmother and receiving her complaints. The broken peace in the house often ruined my days: slurps of porridge, airs of breath, trails of footprints, talks of marriage (seriously, at sixteen?), accusations of theft, wafts of urine, toilets of.. my mother took her out of the elder’s home because her memory became occasional so she could not take care of herself. I endured my days by simply avoiding her.
Why, I had already died but not quite left this life. I watch the funeral come to an end and follow my family back home. My exhausted mother helps my grandmother off the car, still lifting by the arm as they ascend the doorstep. The expression and movement of her mouth suggests that she is bellowing the usual lines to get my grandmother into the shower. While the water runs upstairs, my parents huddle together on the sofa.
While awaiting the fate of my partial existence, I explored this omnisciency. I zipped around the neighbourhood, poking my head through the walls. It was amusing at first, but the excitement drained out at the thought of doing this forever. I trail back home to my bedroom and lie on my bed as I always did. For a moment it seems just as before, except that I don’t hear or touch, and that everything is in greyscale. And that there is no one else to interact with. If I am truly dead, where are all the other dead people?
I check on my parents to find that they have successfully fallen asleep. Then I explore a room I have never been to before. I never went near the room because it stank. To give you an idea, the whole corridor smelled. Inside, heaps of clothes are littered around. A collection of outdoor finds are scattered on the desk. My grandmother lies in bed with slack jaws. By the bed is a framed picture.
The girl in the picture looks very much like my mother, but a couple years younger. She is with a man who is not my father. She wears a frilly puff-sleeved dress, the kind my mother would never wear. She has silky hair, long eyelashes, and a smooth complexion. She curls up shyly with the man’s arm around her slender waist. It did not occur to me that my grandmother could have been this pretty, timid girl in her young days. I wonder about the woman who raised my mother, the one who loved her child so much that she cultivated absolute obedience. This is the woman who my mother would clean up after and take complaints from. It is not my grandmother’s fault, for if my mother grew old she will be in the same place, and me too if I had not died.
A couple months later, the town regains its momentum. With lighter spirits, I visit the school I used to go to. I am not sure if I should say that in past tense, for I am going there now. It seems like everyone has moved on. I take a vacant chair and observe my friends in class. Their mouths form words I long to hear. I see that sometimes they do mention my name. It pleases me to know that they still think of me, but for how much longer? Someone else has taken my place in the second row. Will my legacy in the usual five of us be merged with the newcomer? It worries me that my identity might slowly fuse with my substitute.
Everyone packs up simultaneously, except for my four friends who were watching the time closely and had already collected their items. They dash out of the classroom and I pursue. It must be a Wednesday, for my best friend splits up from the rest and heads for the student council meeting room. At the turn of the corridor, we bump straight into the school bully. Turn back, I long to say. But my best friend does not believe in stepping down. The bully grips my friend by the collar and by the looks of it, threatens with barely moving lips. The bully’s clutch grows tighter with my friend’s hesitation. Let go, you slimy blotch of lard! My friend nods reluctantly and hands over a hundred baht. The bully pockets the money, slams my friend against the wall, and leaves. Now I am no longer there to be picked on, my best friend has become my substitute.
At the end of the day, my friends scuttle away before the bully can catch up. At the gate, my friends all go their separate ways, and I pause to decide who to follow. Just then I catch sight of the bully. Now is a very convenient time for stalking.
The bully plods home, hands in pockets, face a droop. Then I had to pick up my pace to catch up. A man behind us closes in, but then falls away from our speed. Halfway down the path, the bully sprints. At the turn of the alley, we bump straight into another shady man. Tears and panic fills the bully’s eyes. The men are surrounding. One grips the bully, who immediately hands over ten thousand baht. I gape at the sum. But it is not enough for them. They threaten and punish.
On the way home, more bruises appear. A ripped sleeve flutters. Instead of shrinking with fright, the bully puffs with anger. The father is not pleased with the lost fight, and demonstrates a couple beatings. I had always been told to stand against bullies, but it did not occur to me that they are victims too. Born to a world where strength comes from dominance, it is difficult to treat anyone as an equal. It is a life of beat or be beaten. I don’t forget how inferior the bully made me feel, but now I feel differently about it. It is not the bully’s fault, for if I must choose between beat and beaten, I would probably choose beat as well.
It gets frighteningly lonely without interaction of any sorts. For years I wandered, lost in this continuing world. I yearn to take part and exchange words. What weighs most in my heart is the fact that there are so many experiences left I didn’t get to live. To drive, go to university, make my own decisions, to love...
I had a chance in a relationship, but I never got close enough. We got along very well, understood each other, and had closely bound paths. I could tell we were more than friends, and everyone knew it. My parents always told me to wait a little longer so that I may be a little wiser, so I did. When I become of age will be when I confess, I decided. But that was not to be. We drifted apart as I was gradually replaced. Back then when I had to tears to shed, it came in streams. Once it goes it doesn’t come back.
It hurt me so much, both the stealth and the betrayal. But I still long for my love, literally a lost soul longing for a living human. It took me years to pour through every dwelling on earth but I found my darling in the arms of my enemy. Matching rings glint on their fingers.
This must be the deepest regret I have, the inhibition of my confession. If I had not waited to tell it, I am sure I can die in peace. While I stalk my love without the presence I long to have, the unthinkable happens. A car swerves madly and crashes head on. Liquid the colour of love sprinkles the road. A vehicle the colour of heaven takes away the vessel. Along with my surprise, I feel a secret joy. But my love doesn’t some to me in a ghostly form like mine. My love does not come at all. The vessel holds on tightly to life.
They no longer walk side by side as they no longer can. They no longer communicate freely as they no longer can. My love is deformed, inside and out, mentally and physically, stripped of all the former prime glories. My darling relies on a wheelchair, which the enemy of my adolescence pilots. My love’s partner does more than pushing a wheelchair. All the jobs, chores, medical routines are regulated by the one I despised so much. And it is all done with much love that does not require requital. It is not my rival’s fault for uniting with my love, for if I were in her place I would not know what to do, and this substitute is clearly the perfect one for my love.
At that very moment, a weight is lifted away from my heart. A warmth softens the dead cold. I glow and take off towards the skies. The white glow grows more intense as I gain elevation. Up here everything is clear. Everything is pure. I finally cross the threshold that kept me between life and the afterlife. He takes me into His arms and tells me:
“Well done, my child.”
And of course this is one of the better pieces. Otherwise I would not dare show it eh.
The Weight of Unforgivingness
I died yesterday morning, at 3:00am.
My parents found my body at 7:00am.
My funeral was held the next day, at 6:00pm.
I’m not dead.
At least I don’t think I am.
It suddenly grows bright in the coffin and my body burns alight, although I don’t feel it. I peel myself away from my grey flesh and swim through the furnace. Crying with bowed heads are my family, best friends, and closest teachers, all cladded in black. I can imagine that if I were still alive, their concern for me will certainly melt my core. Mother sobs uncontrollably into father’s arms while my grandmother only manages the slightest sniffle. My melting pot of love goes sour. Why, is a grandchild not significant? I knew it all along.
My grandmother was (and still is, last time I knew) a grumpy person. She would throw fits, make a mess, and argue about everything. In her good moods, she babbled TV commentary, lectured the obvious, and ventured to tinker with the house. My obedient mother slaves away, cleaning after my grandmother and receiving her complaints. The broken peace in the house often ruined my days: slurps of porridge, airs of breath, trails of footprints, talks of marriage (seriously, at sixteen?), accusations of theft, wafts of urine, toilets of.. my mother took her out of the elder’s home because her memory became occasional so she could not take care of herself. I endured my days by simply avoiding her.
Why, I had already died but not quite left this life. I watch the funeral come to an end and follow my family back home. My exhausted mother helps my grandmother off the car, still lifting by the arm as they ascend the doorstep. The expression and movement of her mouth suggests that she is bellowing the usual lines to get my grandmother into the shower. While the water runs upstairs, my parents huddle together on the sofa.
While awaiting the fate of my partial existence, I explored this omnisciency. I zipped around the neighbourhood, poking my head through the walls. It was amusing at first, but the excitement drained out at the thought of doing this forever. I trail back home to my bedroom and lie on my bed as I always did. For a moment it seems just as before, except that I don’t hear or touch, and that everything is in greyscale. And that there is no one else to interact with. If I am truly dead, where are all the other dead people?
I check on my parents to find that they have successfully fallen asleep. Then I explore a room I have never been to before. I never went near the room because it stank. To give you an idea, the whole corridor smelled. Inside, heaps of clothes are littered around. A collection of outdoor finds are scattered on the desk. My grandmother lies in bed with slack jaws. By the bed is a framed picture.
The girl in the picture looks very much like my mother, but a couple years younger. She is with a man who is not my father. She wears a frilly puff-sleeved dress, the kind my mother would never wear. She has silky hair, long eyelashes, and a smooth complexion. She curls up shyly with the man’s arm around her slender waist. It did not occur to me that my grandmother could have been this pretty, timid girl in her young days. I wonder about the woman who raised my mother, the one who loved her child so much that she cultivated absolute obedience. This is the woman who my mother would clean up after and take complaints from. It is not my grandmother’s fault, for if my mother grew old she will be in the same place, and me too if I had not died.
A couple months later, the town regains its momentum. With lighter spirits, I visit the school I used to go to. I am not sure if I should say that in past tense, for I am going there now. It seems like everyone has moved on. I take a vacant chair and observe my friends in class. Their mouths form words I long to hear. I see that sometimes they do mention my name. It pleases me to know that they still think of me, but for how much longer? Someone else has taken my place in the second row. Will my legacy in the usual five of us be merged with the newcomer? It worries me that my identity might slowly fuse with my substitute.
Everyone packs up simultaneously, except for my four friends who were watching the time closely and had already collected their items. They dash out of the classroom and I pursue. It must be a Wednesday, for my best friend splits up from the rest and heads for the student council meeting room. At the turn of the corridor, we bump straight into the school bully. Turn back, I long to say. But my best friend does not believe in stepping down. The bully grips my friend by the collar and by the looks of it, threatens with barely moving lips. The bully’s clutch grows tighter with my friend’s hesitation. Let go, you slimy blotch of lard! My friend nods reluctantly and hands over a hundred baht. The bully pockets the money, slams my friend against the wall, and leaves. Now I am no longer there to be picked on, my best friend has become my substitute.
At the end of the day, my friends scuttle away before the bully can catch up. At the gate, my friends all go their separate ways, and I pause to decide who to follow. Just then I catch sight of the bully. Now is a very convenient time for stalking.
The bully plods home, hands in pockets, face a droop. Then I had to pick up my pace to catch up. A man behind us closes in, but then falls away from our speed. Halfway down the path, the bully sprints. At the turn of the alley, we bump straight into another shady man. Tears and panic fills the bully’s eyes. The men are surrounding. One grips the bully, who immediately hands over ten thousand baht. I gape at the sum. But it is not enough for them. They threaten and punish.
On the way home, more bruises appear. A ripped sleeve flutters. Instead of shrinking with fright, the bully puffs with anger. The father is not pleased with the lost fight, and demonstrates a couple beatings. I had always been told to stand against bullies, but it did not occur to me that they are victims too. Born to a world where strength comes from dominance, it is difficult to treat anyone as an equal. It is a life of beat or be beaten. I don’t forget how inferior the bully made me feel, but now I feel differently about it. It is not the bully’s fault, for if I must choose between beat and beaten, I would probably choose beat as well.
It gets frighteningly lonely without interaction of any sorts. For years I wandered, lost in this continuing world. I yearn to take part and exchange words. What weighs most in my heart is the fact that there are so many experiences left I didn’t get to live. To drive, go to university, make my own decisions, to love...
I had a chance in a relationship, but I never got close enough. We got along very well, understood each other, and had closely bound paths. I could tell we were more than friends, and everyone knew it. My parents always told me to wait a little longer so that I may be a little wiser, so I did. When I become of age will be when I confess, I decided. But that was not to be. We drifted apart as I was gradually replaced. Back then when I had to tears to shed, it came in streams. Once it goes it doesn’t come back.
It hurt me so much, both the stealth and the betrayal. But I still long for my love, literally a lost soul longing for a living human. It took me years to pour through every dwelling on earth but I found my darling in the arms of my enemy. Matching rings glint on their fingers.
This must be the deepest regret I have, the inhibition of my confession. If I had not waited to tell it, I am sure I can die in peace. While I stalk my love without the presence I long to have, the unthinkable happens. A car swerves madly and crashes head on. Liquid the colour of love sprinkles the road. A vehicle the colour of heaven takes away the vessel. Along with my surprise, I feel a secret joy. But my love doesn’t some to me in a ghostly form like mine. My love does not come at all. The vessel holds on tightly to life.
They no longer walk side by side as they no longer can. They no longer communicate freely as they no longer can. My love is deformed, inside and out, mentally and physically, stripped of all the former prime glories. My darling relies on a wheelchair, which the enemy of my adolescence pilots. My love’s partner does more than pushing a wheelchair. All the jobs, chores, medical routines are regulated by the one I despised so much. And it is all done with much love that does not require requital. It is not my rival’s fault for uniting with my love, for if I were in her place I would not know what to do, and this substitute is clearly the perfect one for my love.
At that very moment, a weight is lifted away from my heart. A warmth softens the dead cold. I glow and take off towards the skies. The white glow grows more intense as I gain elevation. Up here everything is clear. Everything is pure. I finally cross the threshold that kept me between life and the afterlife. He takes me into His arms and tells me:
“Well done, my child.”
Slick
Must have written this short story some two years ago. Maybe third person point of view would have worked better and the storyline could have been told clearer. Not really keen on the way it was written (oh it is dreadful) but the ideas are pretty neat. The fascination in stargazing shows too. Probably a story worth remastering.
Cannot quite remember what sparked this project, but the point was to write something spooky; it was meant for a little writing community (not sure what became of them, nor of this story). And I tried. To make it spooky.
So far everything had proceeded along my favours. Except that the motor had died out. No fears, I should be able to reach the other side of the channel by midday.
The northern stars twinkle brightly with encouragement. If it weren’t for the clear skies I may be lost and dead. But that is not to be, for I will reach land within the next twelve hours or so. I start to paddle.
Without the motor, I sense the expansive peace of the still sea. All is silent except for the current lapping around my lifeboat, my paddle scooping the waters, and my breath matching the rowing. Brimming with calmness, I recall the escape. It was a close call, but not close enough. Either they got me or they didn’t. Now they will never find me. The night’s dark cloak makes me feel safely obscure.
I redirect the boat northwards before sinking deeper into thought. Did I leave my identity uncovered? Is there anyone left who still knows me? Who was that person anyway, the one I kicked into the vat of tar. He sank, arms flailing, descending.. Hush! What is done is done, there is no turning back, no returning people from the dead. I redirect the boat again. I need to concentrate some more on rowing; my right arm is overpowering my left.
But even with the stone still current, I have to redirect the boat three, four, five times. Screw this rickety boat, some lousy carpenter did not get the symmetry right. Before I know it, the northern stars grew dimmer. Why, is it nearly dawn already? I’ll come to miss the gentle night breeze.
Instead of getting warmer, I get slightly chilly. I must have gained a significant latitude although I didn’t expect the climate to change so sharply. The clouds grow thicker, only allowing only the brightest of stars to shine through. I stop to think. Should I wait for sunrise to mark my east, or paddle on and risk veering off course?
While I think, the air gets warmer. Maybe I should just wait, the sun is rising soon. Over the next couple of minutes, the temperature gets fuzzy, cozy, humid, then stifling. How can it be stifling hot when the sun has not risen? I wait a little more but it seems like dawn is still a little ways to come, so I pick up my paddle.
I squint at the faint stars and realize that my boat is facing south. A chill creeps up my spine towards my neck. The opaque atmosphere turns on me. I don’t row but ominous ripples bounce off of my boat. My joints grow stiff as I realize
I am spinning.
Dark figures swishing around the circumference burst with laughter, revealing themselves on the vast, dim sea. I dig hard with my paddle but it is no use, the current is dragging me in. A multitude more of vengeful apparitions swirl the agitated sea, chilling my bones with their presence. Hopelessly slapping the liquid funnel, I revolve with the whirlpool. The thousands of those who I ended are here to end me. Water laps into my lifeboat, a boat that will not serve its purpose, and I breathe my last before submerging through the center of the vortex. The freezing water surprises me, causing precious air to bubble away. Arms flailing, I sink, descending rapidly. I kick the boat to bring myself closer the surface then struggle frantically towards sea level, progressing in slow motion. I believe I saw a star twinkle through the water, before a slick-slippery hand grips me by the ankle and yanks me down into the dark abyss, as dark as a vat of tar.
Cannot quite remember what sparked this project, but the point was to write something spooky; it was meant for a little writing community (not sure what became of them, nor of this story). And I tried. To make it spooky.
Slick
So far everything had proceeded along my favours. Except that the motor had died out. No fears, I should be able to reach the other side of the channel by midday.
The northern stars twinkle brightly with encouragement. If it weren’t for the clear skies I may be lost and dead. But that is not to be, for I will reach land within the next twelve hours or so. I start to paddle.
Without the motor, I sense the expansive peace of the still sea. All is silent except for the current lapping around my lifeboat, my paddle scooping the waters, and my breath matching the rowing. Brimming with calmness, I recall the escape. It was a close call, but not close enough. Either they got me or they didn’t. Now they will never find me. The night’s dark cloak makes me feel safely obscure.
I redirect the boat northwards before sinking deeper into thought. Did I leave my identity uncovered? Is there anyone left who still knows me? Who was that person anyway, the one I kicked into the vat of tar. He sank, arms flailing, descending.. Hush! What is done is done, there is no turning back, no returning people from the dead. I redirect the boat again. I need to concentrate some more on rowing; my right arm is overpowering my left.
But even with the stone still current, I have to redirect the boat three, four, five times. Screw this rickety boat, some lousy carpenter did not get the symmetry right. Before I know it, the northern stars grew dimmer. Why, is it nearly dawn already? I’ll come to miss the gentle night breeze.
Instead of getting warmer, I get slightly chilly. I must have gained a significant latitude although I didn’t expect the climate to change so sharply. The clouds grow thicker, only allowing only the brightest of stars to shine through. I stop to think. Should I wait for sunrise to mark my east, or paddle on and risk veering off course?
While I think, the air gets warmer. Maybe I should just wait, the sun is rising soon. Over the next couple of minutes, the temperature gets fuzzy, cozy, humid, then stifling. How can it be stifling hot when the sun has not risen? I wait a little more but it seems like dawn is still a little ways to come, so I pick up my paddle.
I squint at the faint stars and realize that my boat is facing south. A chill creeps up my spine towards my neck. The opaque atmosphere turns on me. I don’t row but ominous ripples bounce off of my boat. My joints grow stiff as I realize
I am spinning.
Dark figures swishing around the circumference burst with laughter, revealing themselves on the vast, dim sea. I dig hard with my paddle but it is no use, the current is dragging me in. A multitude more of vengeful apparitions swirl the agitated sea, chilling my bones with their presence. Hopelessly slapping the liquid funnel, I revolve with the whirlpool. The thousands of those who I ended are here to end me. Water laps into my lifeboat, a boat that will not serve its purpose, and I breathe my last before submerging through the center of the vortex. The freezing water surprises me, causing precious air to bubble away. Arms flailing, I sink, descending rapidly. I kick the boat to bring myself closer the surface then struggle frantically towards sea level, progressing in slow motion. I believe I saw a star twinkle through the water, before a slick-slippery hand grips me by the ankle and yanks me down into the dark abyss, as dark as a vat of tar.
Kumru
First find out about introspective.
softly cooing
round eyes
innocently searching
big in this nest
small in this world
genç çocuk
precious young
out there under the brutal sky
there will be persecution
and temptation and wickedness
but remember that
God loves you
küçük kuş
you are no longer little
but know that you are
a child of God
a peaceful soul
a dove
The Imagery
biiiiig round eyes
The Content
This piece goes in hand with Onna no Ko, having been written around August (back when I had the time to learn Turkish). I wrote this to my future self. Today is my eighteenth birthday, very fitting.
The diction I chose is not elaborate, and the flow more conversational. To capture pure simplicity, I suppose. Some day I will long for quiet life. Some day.
It is just as important to document optimism. Maybe the future me will look back on this and think myself naive, or maybe it will make the difference between moving on or stalling.
The Imagery
biiiiig round eyes
The Content
This piece goes in hand with Onna no Ko, having been written around August (back when I had the time to learn Turkish). I wrote this to my future self. Today is my eighteenth birthday, very fitting.
The diction I chose is not elaborate, and the flow more conversational. To capture pure simplicity, I suppose. Some day I will long for quiet life. Some day.
It is just as important to document optimism. Maybe the future me will look back on this and think myself naive, or maybe it will make the difference between moving on or stalling.
The Ghost of You
First find out about introspective.
the ghost of you
sets its eyes to the West
present in time
yet lost to the future
mothers hold on to empty bodies
while their children slip away
like moths to flames
running towards neon warfire
already the hearse awaits
someone please turn the wheel back
could I?
should I?
at the end of the world
if you carry on this way
you are never coming home
so long and goodnight
The Imagery
apparitions leave their flesh
bound for neon lights and war fire
driving the hearse
The Content
Pretty new to the Phandom. Did a mashup of The Ghost of You and Helena. In a way it progresses from pre-death to post-death. My sentiments for those studying in the US.
Everyone is hyped for graduating, but I have a sinking feeling that some of these people are.. never coming back. Not in the sense that we will no longer be in contact (come on, we are living in the year 2016 already), but that peace is not guaranteed over the next couple decades. In this chaotic day and age it happens.
I would love to turn the wheel and stop it all from happening. But could I? Should I? I best I can do is pray that God brings them home some day.
the ghost of you
sets its eyes to the West
present in time
yet lost to the future
mothers hold on to empty bodies
while their children slip away
like moths to flames
running towards neon warfire
already the hearse awaits
someone please turn the wheel back
could I?
should I?
at the end of the world
if you carry on this way
you are never coming home
so long and goodnight
The Imagery
apparitions leave their flesh
bound for neon lights and war fire
driving the hearse
The Content
Pretty new to the Phandom. Did a mashup of The Ghost of You and Helena. In a way it progresses from pre-death to post-death. My sentiments for those studying in the US.
Everyone is hyped for graduating, but I have a sinking feeling that some of these people are.. never coming back. Not in the sense that we will no longer be in contact (come on, we are living in the year 2016 already), but that peace is not guaranteed over the next couple decades. In this chaotic day and age it happens.
I would love to turn the wheel and stop it all from happening. But could I? Should I? I best I can do is pray that God brings them home some day.
Isaiah 40:31
"but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint"
Most people have at least one university acceptance by now. I have had two extremely difficult conditional offers, five rejections, and four more competitive decisions to hear from. I will have a place in Taiwan for sure, since I listed some twenty insurance choices.. and being the valedictorian too!
I had my doubts when applying: my parents, my counsellors, my peers.. they were all too optimistic. Mum opposed my choosing University of Manchester and University of Nottingham for their "low" ranking, yet I applied anyways. Ironically, those are the only two offers I hold now.
My peers are all drunk on senior-itis, and here I am still working my brains out for APs. I was hoping that I would receive one unconditional acceptance this month so that I can soothe my nerves, but I was not granted that. I suppose this is God's way of telling me to work harder.
Knowing that there are plans for me gives me the strength to study harder. What I manage to garner will not be in vain. If anything, it is the wait that gives me incentive to work, to prepare and anticipate what is to come.
It has been three intense months. Cramming two AP courses into four certainly was not easy. Looking at my practice now I am guaranteed a pass, but whether I meet any conditions is still up to the next month.
Studying in the UK might not be God's will; however unlikely, university might not even be God's will. Whatever happens, I will study harder, and wait until my future is revealed. I believe that all is for the best.
Most people have at least one university acceptance by now. I have had two extremely difficult conditional offers, five rejections, and four more competitive decisions to hear from. I will have a place in Taiwan for sure, since I listed some twenty insurance choices.. and being the valedictorian too!
I had my doubts when applying: my parents, my counsellors, my peers.. they were all too optimistic. Mum opposed my choosing University of Manchester and University of Nottingham for their "low" ranking, yet I applied anyways. Ironically, those are the only two offers I hold now.
My peers are all drunk on senior-itis, and here I am still working my brains out for APs. I was hoping that I would receive one unconditional acceptance this month so that I can soothe my nerves, but I was not granted that. I suppose this is God's way of telling me to work harder.
Knowing that there are plans for me gives me the strength to study harder. What I manage to garner will not be in vain. If anything, it is the wait that gives me incentive to work, to prepare and anticipate what is to come.
It has been three intense months. Cramming two AP courses into four certainly was not easy. Looking at my practice now I am guaranteed a pass, but whether I meet any conditions is still up to the next month.
Studying in the UK might not be God's will; however unlikely, university might not even be God's will. Whatever happens, I will study harder, and wait until my future is revealed. I believe that all is for the best.
Early Quantum Theory
Prerequisite: physics, algebra2
"Quantum" is a scary word, but is really only means "quantity". The most significant discreet quantity is in Planck's quantum hypothesis for photon energy:
E = nhƒ
in which the integer n quantizes light such that you cannot have fractional photons.
The graph shows the wavelength of light bombarding blackbodies of certain temperatures, and the intensity of light radiated from the blackbody. Wien's Law tells what wavelength makes a blackbody radiate the most intense light, at a certain temperature T.
When light shines onto the curved metal plate, it emits electrons and causes a current to run through the setup. The voltage supplied to oppose this current is the stopping potential. This voltage and the electron's charge would be the electron's kinetic energy.
The classical understanding of radiation is that when sufficient energy builds up, a particle breaks free of the object. Intuitively, a metal would eventually radiate if a light is shined on it long enough. Experiments on this photoelectric effect show that the only way to get a metal to radiate is to shine a light of high enough frequency, no matter how intense or prolonged the light.
The work function is the energy required to remove an electron. In accordance with experimental results, there is a certain light frequency that must be achieved before an electron can escape.
There are four ways in which particles can interact:
1) photoelectric effect
2) electron excitation
3) Compton effect
4) pair production
This is pair production:
Light hits a nucleus and forms a positron and electron. Charge and momentum are conserved. Beautiful.
"Quantum" is a scary word, but is really only means "quantity". The most significant discreet quantity is in Planck's quantum hypothesis for photon energy:
E = nhƒ
in which the integer n quantizes light such that you cannot have fractional photons.
The graph shows the wavelength of light bombarding blackbodies of certain temperatures, and the intensity of light radiated from the blackbody. Wien's Law tells what wavelength makes a blackbody radiate the most intense light, at a certain temperature T.
When light shines onto the curved metal plate, it emits electrons and causes a current to run through the setup. The voltage supplied to oppose this current is the stopping potential. This voltage and the electron's charge would be the electron's kinetic energy.
The classical understanding of radiation is that when sufficient energy builds up, a particle breaks free of the object. Intuitively, a metal would eventually radiate if a light is shined on it long enough. Experiments on this photoelectric effect show that the only way to get a metal to radiate is to shine a light of high enough frequency, no matter how intense or prolonged the light.
The work function is the energy required to remove an electron. In accordance with experimental results, there is a certain light frequency that must be achieved before an electron can escape.
There are four ways in which particles can interact:
1) photoelectric effect
2) electron excitation
3) Compton effect
4) pair production
This is pair production:
Light hits a nucleus and forms a positron and electron. Charge and momentum are conserved. Beautiful.
Electromagnetic Waves
Prerequisite: physics, algebra 2
Maxwell came up with a couple equations pertaining to light:
1) some kind of charge-field relation that involves calculus.. not in the scope of AP
2) magnetic fields have no beginnings or ends, whereas electric fields do
3) change in magnetic field generates an electric field
4) a current or change in electric field generates a magnetic field
An electromagnetic wave is essentially energy transmitted through fields. Change in magnetic field causes change in electric field by Faraday's Law, then the change in electric field causes a magnetic field by Ampere's Law, that may change the existing magnetic field or not.
I forgot to label the third picture; the vertical waves are electric fields and the horizontal waves are magnetic fields.
Since light rides on electromagnetic fields, it does not rely on a medium, thus explaining how it can travel through a vacuum. The constancy of the speed of light also relies on this fact; light is not something that you actively move, but rather it is something you send through a field.
Maxwell came up with a couple equations pertaining to light:
1) some kind of charge-field relation that involves calculus.. not in the scope of AP
2) magnetic fields have no beginnings or ends, whereas electric fields do
3) change in magnetic field generates an electric field
4) a current or change in electric field generates a magnetic field
An electromagnetic wave is essentially energy transmitted through fields. Change in magnetic field causes change in electric field by Faraday's Law, then the change in electric field causes a magnetic field by Ampere's Law, that may change the existing magnetic field or not.
I forgot to label the third picture; the vertical waves are electric fields and the horizontal waves are magnetic fields.
Since light rides on electromagnetic fields, it does not rely on a medium, thus explaining how it can travel through a vacuum. The constancy of the speed of light also relies on this fact; light is not something that you actively move, but rather it is something you send through a field.
If the speed of light is your cake, the derivation of Lorentz Transformation might be of interest.
Friday 25 March 2016
Early Atomic Models
Prerequisite: physics, algebra2
First two equations are for the cathode ray experiment, which sets magnetic force equal to the centripetal force. The cathode rays then became known as electrons. The third is the oil drop experiment, in which the electron's electric force is equal to its weight. Simple and elegant.
Scientists then became interested in why elements only emit certain wavelengths. They came up with various mathematical models for the hydrogen atom, in which the Balmer series describes visible wavelengths, the Lyman series UV, and the Paschen series IR. All three combined shows the emission spectrum for hydrogen. Rydberg's constant R is 1.0974 E7 /m.
The orbit radius then became of interest. The second step of the derivation is electric and centripetal force. The Bohr radius is the inner orbit of a hydrogen atom.
The energy of light emitted is the energy it takes for an electron to jump levels. The quantum condition is interesting where the angular momentum L is.. quantized. The integer n refers to the orbit level, or principal quantum number. The most amazing thing is probably how the angular momentum reduces to an integer and some constants.
The total energy is the kinetic energy minus the potential energy. Substitute v from angular momentum and r from radius. The ground state of a hydrogen atom is 13.6eV. The second set of equations describe the wavelength associated to an electron skipping energy levels, as Balmer, Lyman, and Paschen had previously attempted.
To explain the quantized energy levels, the Broglie wavelength of an electron must fit the circumference of its orbit by an integer n. The equation can then derive angular momentum as in the quantum condition, thus verifying its legitimacy.
Except that physics likes to be counter intuitive. It continues to boggle our minds and turn our brains inside out..
First two equations are for the cathode ray experiment, which sets magnetic force equal to the centripetal force. The cathode rays then became known as electrons. The third is the oil drop experiment, in which the electron's electric force is equal to its weight. Simple and elegant.
Scientists then became interested in why elements only emit certain wavelengths. They came up with various mathematical models for the hydrogen atom, in which the Balmer series describes visible wavelengths, the Lyman series UV, and the Paschen series IR. All three combined shows the emission spectrum for hydrogen. Rydberg's constant R is 1.0974 E7 /m.
The orbit radius then became of interest. The second step of the derivation is electric and centripetal force. The Bohr radius is the inner orbit of a hydrogen atom.
The energy of light emitted is the energy it takes for an electron to jump levels. The quantum condition is interesting where the angular momentum L is.. quantized. The integer n refers to the orbit level, or principal quantum number. The most amazing thing is probably how the angular momentum reduces to an integer and some constants.
The total energy is the kinetic energy minus the potential energy. Substitute v from angular momentum and r from radius. The ground state of a hydrogen atom is 13.6eV. The second set of equations describe the wavelength associated to an electron skipping energy levels, as Balmer, Lyman, and Paschen had previously attempted.
To explain the quantized energy levels, the Broglie wavelength of an electron must fit the circumference of its orbit by an integer n. The equation can then derive angular momentum as in the quantum condition, thus verifying its legitimacy.
Except that physics likes to be counter intuitive. It continues to boggle our minds and turn our brains inside out..
Monday 14 March 2016
Genesis 9:3
"Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. And as I gave you the green plants, I give you everything"
Meat consumption has become a topic lately. It is destructive in every way, from deforestation to water shortage, to ocean pollution, to greenhouse effect, to animal cruelty, to obesity, and the such. I would say that meat makes about one sixth of my diet, which is a small portion of an already minute appetite. Still working on minimizing the consumption~
And my pastor brought up this interesting topic to light: people before Noah were vegan. Our sins collected over many generations to the point where meat consumption is necessary and God must allow it. Not sure how it came to be biologically, but sin is as physical as it is spiritual, in the same way that Adam and Eve became mortal.
Today the crave for meat is greater than ever. Despite all the notices for environment, humanity and health, very little people are ready to give it up. In fact, most people are in denial at the severity of its effect (especially when shutting the livestock business is not quite economical). Sin is so deeply rooted in our flesh that meat has become an artificial necessity.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that God really has provided everything for us. Skeptics point at the starving people of today and ask: "Where is God?". God has already given, but we meat eaters have taken more than our share. We give crops to livestock when crops could easily feed the world. There is in fact plenty for all if we would give up our cravings for meat.
Let me clarify: the wrong is not in the meat itself but in how we came to want meat, and in recent times, how we disregard immoralities that come with our meat. If meat was sinful, God would not have permitted it.
Meat is economical. Meat is sociable. Meat is not environmental. The social and economical interest often outweighs the environmental concern, and that is the way I often thought of this. But meat consumption is a spiritual fight as well. Only when we are alleviated of our sins are we freed from our bondage to meat. Nobody is going to be immaculately clean of sin, but it will take more than campaigns and reforms to cut meat consumption to a significant minimum. It takes God.
Meat consumption has become a topic lately. It is destructive in every way, from deforestation to water shortage, to ocean pollution, to greenhouse effect, to animal cruelty, to obesity, and the such. I would say that meat makes about one sixth of my diet, which is a small portion of an already minute appetite. Still working on minimizing the consumption~
And my pastor brought up this interesting topic to light: people before Noah were vegan. Our sins collected over many generations to the point where meat consumption is necessary and God must allow it. Not sure how it came to be biologically, but sin is as physical as it is spiritual, in the same way that Adam and Eve became mortal.
Today the crave for meat is greater than ever. Despite all the notices for environment, humanity and health, very little people are ready to give it up. In fact, most people are in denial at the severity of its effect (especially when shutting the livestock business is not quite economical). Sin is so deeply rooted in our flesh that meat has become an artificial necessity.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that God really has provided everything for us. Skeptics point at the starving people of today and ask: "Where is God?". God has already given, but we meat eaters have taken more than our share. We give crops to livestock when crops could easily feed the world. There is in fact plenty for all if we would give up our cravings for meat.
Let me clarify: the wrong is not in the meat itself but in how we came to want meat, and in recent times, how we disregard immoralities that come with our meat. If meat was sinful, God would not have permitted it.
Meat is economical. Meat is sociable. Meat is not environmental. The social and economical interest often outweighs the environmental concern, and that is the way I often thought of this. But meat consumption is a spiritual fight as well. Only when we are alleviated of our sins are we freed from our bondage to meat. Nobody is going to be immaculately clean of sin, but it will take more than campaigns and reforms to cut meat consumption to a significant minimum. It takes God.
Sunday 28 February 2016
Lamentations 3:51
"my eyes cause me grief
at the fate of all the daughters of my city."
It has been two months since my determination, but I have not quite lived up to my word. More and more of my friends are slipping away to worldliness. Porn, LGBT, casual relationships, hangovers.. how could they? Only three years ago we were innocent as can be. Today they cause me grief.
This is not something that crosses their minds. Even one friend of mine sees my concern as needless depression. What they do not see is that sin is a matter of eternal life and eternal death.
If I cared enough I would have stopped them, but I was more worried about being ousted from respect. I was afraid of being annoying, eccentric, moralistic. I was afraid of being abhorred, despised, shunned. I should have known that I would be more afraid of losing my peers to the devil.
How could I be so selfish? There I was, witnessing acts of sin - acts of spiritual suicide - yet I did nothing. How can I call myself a friend? How can I say my farewells while worried sick? How lousy I am..
I bore no such grief until I saw it. How blind I was. Everyone was slipping away while I enjoyed my delusions of innocence. They have sunken deep into the mud. My nearsightedness led to this. This is the fate of my people, and I must behold the result of my own carelessness.
There are only three months left if I am to do anything about it. Please God, give me the right words. For them, and for me too. If not, I will never be able to move on with my heart at ease. How else can I unsee grief?
at the fate of all the daughters of my city."
It has been two months since my determination, but I have not quite lived up to my word. More and more of my friends are slipping away to worldliness. Porn, LGBT, casual relationships, hangovers.. how could they? Only three years ago we were innocent as can be. Today they cause me grief.
This is not something that crosses their minds. Even one friend of mine sees my concern as needless depression. What they do not see is that sin is a matter of eternal life and eternal death.
If I cared enough I would have stopped them, but I was more worried about being ousted from respect. I was afraid of being annoying, eccentric, moralistic. I was afraid of being abhorred, despised, shunned. I should have known that I would be more afraid of losing my peers to the devil.
How could I be so selfish? There I was, witnessing acts of sin - acts of spiritual suicide - yet I did nothing. How can I call myself a friend? How can I say my farewells while worried sick? How lousy I am..
I bore no such grief until I saw it. How blind I was. Everyone was slipping away while I enjoyed my delusions of innocence. They have sunken deep into the mud. My nearsightedness led to this. This is the fate of my people, and I must behold the result of my own carelessness.
There are only three months left if I am to do anything about it. Please God, give me the right words. For them, and for me too. If not, I will never be able to move on with my heart at ease. How else can I unsee grief?
Convergence
Prerequisite: calculus
Following Infinite Series, it is of interest to note the values of x that make the power series converge. This range of values is the interval of convergence. The radius of convergence is the value measuring from the center to either boundary. Usually the radius is one of three possibilities: center ± remainder, all real numbers, or center. Remainders are listed accordingly.
There are many ways to test for convergence, the simplest of which is the nth term test. The function a(n) must approach zero in order for the series to stop growing. The direct comparison test compares p(n) with another function of known result. It is almost a form of sandwich theorem. Note that p(n) must not have negative terms.
The ratio test sets two consecutive terms of p(n) as a ratio to show whether p(n) increases of decreases, which can then be used to conclude whether the series converges or not. Note again that p(n) must not have negative terms.
The absolute convergence test. Think about it.
The integral test sets the function p(n) as an improper integral. If the improper integral diverges then the series diverges (and p(n) must not have negative terms). The p series test is a strange one to conceptualize (has nothing to do with p(n)). A value of p = 1 makes the series grow incredibly slowly, and anything larger than one even by a bit makes the series decrease.
The limit comparison test is a combination of direct comparison test and ratio test.
When the series flips between addition and subtraction, it is an alternating series. The alternating series test looks for all three conditions in order for a series to be considered convergent. It is worth noting that if the alternating series does converge, the truncation error applies here as well.
Testing convergence is like using a magical telescope to see infinity~
Following Infinite Series, it is of interest to note the values of x that make the power series converge. This range of values is the interval of convergence. The radius of convergence is the value measuring from the center to either boundary. Usually the radius is one of three possibilities: center ± remainder, all real numbers, or center. Remainders are listed accordingly.
There are many ways to test for convergence, the simplest of which is the nth term test. The function a(n) must approach zero in order for the series to stop growing. The direct comparison test compares p(n) with another function of known result. It is almost a form of sandwich theorem. Note that p(n) must not have negative terms.
The ratio test sets two consecutive terms of p(n) as a ratio to show whether p(n) increases of decreases, which can then be used to conclude whether the series converges or not. Note again that p(n) must not have negative terms.
The absolute convergence test. Think about it.
The integral test sets the function p(n) as an improper integral. If the improper integral diverges then the series diverges (and p(n) must not have negative terms). The p series test is a strange one to conceptualize (has nothing to do with p(n)). A value of p = 1 makes the series grow incredibly slowly, and anything larger than one even by a bit makes the series decrease.
The limit comparison test is a combination of direct comparison test and ratio test.
When the series flips between addition and subtraction, it is an alternating series. The alternating series test looks for all three conditions in order for a series to be considered convergent. It is worth noting that if the alternating series does converge, the truncation error applies here as well.
There are two types of convergences. If you were to rearrange the order of the terms in an absolutely convergent series, it will not make a difference. However, the rearranging the terms in a conditionally convergent series will result in anything. You can make any sum with it~
Here is a nice systematic guide for testing convergence:
Testing convergence is like using a magical telescope to see infinity~
Infinite Series
Prerequisite: calculus
This is an infinite series:
[k, ∞] ∑a(k) = a1 + a2 + a3 .. + a∞
Sorry for the type. Here:
Here is a basic review of sequences and series. The sum of infinite geometric series will be incredibly important~
The bulk of investigating infinite series is about the power series. This is merely the sum of infinite geometric series, previously notated as [1, ∞] ∑ar^(n-1). Evaluating this sum gives c/(1-x), previously known as a/(1-r). You can have "x centered at a", notated as "x = a". The term "a" is essentially your x shift from the origin. We will come to understand the purpose later.
There are some fancy tricks you can do with the power series.. differentiate and integrate~ You can apply it to the notation itself, or expand a finite sum into its additions and differentiate / integrate term by term as you would a very long function.
The power series is all very well for polynomials and geometric sums, but for others we need to use the Taylor series:
This is merely the power series, having cn replaced with "the k order derivative of f(x) divided by k factorial". The purpose of all this can be better understood with a graph:
Say f(x) = e^x like in this graph. Pn(x) denotes an n degree Taylor polynomial, or a partial sum of f(x), or an approximation of f(x). An infinite sum gives you f(x), so the greater the n of Pn(x), the closer it approximates f(x). The series represented in this graph is centered at zero so that Pn(x) hugs f(x) at x = 0 (any series centered at zero is a Maclaurin series). It can be centered elsewhere to approximate some value far from the y axis. You might want to revisit power series with this in mind~
Since the polynomial Pn(x) is only a finite segment of the infinite function f(x), the excluded part makes the truncation error. The remainder Rn(x) of Pn(x) is the next order term. To put a number to it, the remainder estimation replaces f^(n+1)(c) with a larger version Mr^(n+1) that covers the interval [x, a].
Series and functions clash - funeries~
This is an infinite series:
[k, ∞] ∑a(k) = a1 + a2 + a3 .. + a∞
Sorry for the type. Here:
Here is a basic review of sequences and series. The sum of infinite geometric series will be incredibly important~
The bulk of investigating infinite series is about the power series. This is merely the sum of infinite geometric series, previously notated as [1, ∞] ∑ar^(n-1). Evaluating this sum gives c/(1-x), previously known as a/(1-r). You can have "x centered at a", notated as "x = a". The term "a" is essentially your x shift from the origin. We will come to understand the purpose later.
There are some fancy tricks you can do with the power series.. differentiate and integrate~ You can apply it to the notation itself, or expand a finite sum into its additions and differentiate / integrate term by term as you would a very long function.
The power series is all very well for polynomials and geometric sums, but for others we need to use the Taylor series:
This is merely the power series, having cn replaced with "the k order derivative of f(x) divided by k factorial". The purpose of all this can be better understood with a graph:
Say f(x) = e^x like in this graph. Pn(x) denotes an n degree Taylor polynomial, or a partial sum of f(x), or an approximation of f(x). An infinite sum gives you f(x), so the greater the n of Pn(x), the closer it approximates f(x). The series represented in this graph is centered at zero so that Pn(x) hugs f(x) at x = 0 (any series centered at zero is a Maclaurin series). It can be centered elsewhere to approximate some value far from the y axis. You might want to revisit power series with this in mind~
Since the polynomial Pn(x) is only a finite segment of the infinite function f(x), the excluded part makes the truncation error. The remainder Rn(x) of Pn(x) is the next order term. To put a number to it, the remainder estimation replaces f^(n+1)(c) with a larger version Mr^(n+1) that covers the interval [x, a].
Series and functions clash - funeries~
Magnetism
Prerequisite: physics
Magnets exert fields in a way that resembles electric fields:
The qvB equation applies to a charge moving in a magnetic field. The BIL equation applies to a conductor carrying current, placed perpendicular to a magnetic field. We will only consider uniform magnetic fields.
In a qvB situation, the magnetic force can become a centripetal force when the magnetic field area is at least the size of the circle. In this example, the magnetic field goes into the page (and imagine that it is uniform all over the page).
This is the conventional notation for magnetic fields perpendicular to the page (me as in me reading this blog, and you as in you awkward blog).
A lot of perpendicularity is involved in magnetism. The first right hand rule applies to the BIL equation and the third to the qvB equation.
A magnetic field produced by a current involves the vacuum permeability constant µ0. The force exerted by one current carrying conductor on another depends on length, current and the other conductor's magnetic field. To know the direction of the force, use the second right hand rule to figure the direction of B between the conductors, then use the BIL right hand rule to figure the force.
One ampere is defined as the current in each wire that is one meter apart to produce 2E-7N for every meter of wire. Should not have used the equal sign there.
A solenoid is a coil of wire that makes a strong magnetic field inside when a current is applied. This makes an electromagnet, and an even stronger one with an iron rod inside.
The magnetic field of a solenoid can be calculated with this, where N is the number of loops.
Magnetic flux is the amount of theoretical magnetic field lines. The unit is weber (Wb), or (kgm^2)/(As^2). I am not sure what one Wb is supposed to mean, but it looks like kinetic energy over current to me.
If you are still wondering, magnetic field is in a sense the density of those lines. The unit is weber per meter square (Wb/m^2), or kg/(As^2), best left as Wb/m^2 for conceptualization.
Michael Faraday discovered that one can induce a current by changing the magnetic field on a conductor. This EMF can be described as ∆ϕ/∆t, yielding J/C, or volts. According to the magnetic flux equation there are several ways to induce EMF with magnetism:
1) change magnitude of magnetic field
2) change effective area of magnetic field
3) change angle of effective area
4) change effective magnetic flux on conductor (move)
Lenz's law is almost Newton's law for magnetic flux. It can be used to determine which way an induced current will run.
Below is just a nice thing to know: since changing magnetic flux induces a current, it induces an electric field to produce the current.
Magnets exert fields in a way that resembles electric fields:
One piece of magnet has little magnetic domains within itself, domains with more or less the same electron spin. A ferromagnetic metal such as iron, cobalt, and nickel have magnetic domains that do not cancel each other out, causing an uneven distribution of charge, and so it is a magnet. Hard magnets have more consistent magnetic domains, so they can be used to stroke other metals to make more magnets.
The qvB equation applies to a charge moving in a magnetic field. The BIL equation applies to a conductor carrying current, placed perpendicular to a magnetic field. We will only consider uniform magnetic fields.
In a qvB situation, the magnetic force can become a centripetal force when the magnetic field area is at least the size of the circle. In this example, the magnetic field goes into the page (and imagine that it is uniform all over the page).
This is the conventional notation for magnetic fields perpendicular to the page (me as in me reading this blog, and you as in you awkward blog).
A lot of perpendicularity is involved in magnetism. The first right hand rule applies to the BIL equation and the third to the qvB equation.
A magnetic field produced by a current involves the vacuum permeability constant µ0. The force exerted by one current carrying conductor on another depends on length, current and the other conductor's magnetic field. To know the direction of the force, use the second right hand rule to figure the direction of B between the conductors, then use the BIL right hand rule to figure the force.
One ampere is defined as the current in each wire that is one meter apart to produce 2E-7N for every meter of wire. Should not have used the equal sign there.
A solenoid is a coil of wire that makes a strong magnetic field inside when a current is applied. This makes an electromagnet, and an even stronger one with an iron rod inside.
The magnetic field of a solenoid can be calculated with this, where N is the number of loops.
Magnetic flux is the amount of theoretical magnetic field lines. The unit is weber (Wb), or (kgm^2)/(As^2). I am not sure what one Wb is supposed to mean, but it looks like kinetic energy over current to me.
If you are still wondering, magnetic field is in a sense the density of those lines. The unit is weber per meter square (Wb/m^2), or kg/(As^2), best left as Wb/m^2 for conceptualization.
1) change magnitude of magnetic field
2) change effective area of magnetic field
3) change angle of effective area
4) change effective magnetic flux on conductor (move)
Lenz's law is almost Newton's law for magnetic flux. It can be used to determine which way an induced current will run.
Below is just a nice thing to know: since changing magnetic flux induces a current, it induces an electric field to produce the current.
Huff, there. Strange stuff. Still getting my head around.
Run Run Run
First find out about introspective.
to the edge of the world
burn burn burn
the cold lifeless torment
fight fight fight
the frozen clutch closing in
try try try
to reach that distant twinkle
leave leave leave
the dead self behind
flee flee flee
from the damp spirit
break break break
the frost creeping in
pray pray pray
to remember why the flight
wade wade wade
through a viscous resistance
see see see
a glimmer through blurry sight
hear hear hear
muted ghosts through waters
feel feel feel
all there is left and
run
The Imagery
a cold spirit chases
through thick muffling fluids
The Content
Actually I think this makes for another trilogy in this order: Feel it All, Spring Nicht, Run Run Run. How strange, that I write pessimistically for dance beats and optimistically for emo ballads.
This entry makes a good wrap up. Spring Nicht makes an appearance in "to the edge of the world" and every word that suggests "cold". Feel it All is referred to at "feel feel feel / all there is left". Where it all began.
Usually I try not to repeat words, but consecutive repetition can make an exception. I particularly like the line "pray pray pray / to remember why the flight". The worst way to lose is to forget your motive. Without a reason why, no amount of opportunity can help you win.
The Imagery
a cold spirit chases
through thick muffling fluids
The Content
Actually I think this makes for another trilogy in this order: Feel it All, Spring Nicht, Run Run Run. How strange, that I write pessimistically for dance beats and optimistically for emo ballads.
This entry makes a good wrap up. Spring Nicht makes an appearance in "to the edge of the world" and every word that suggests "cold". Feel it All is referred to at "feel feel feel / all there is left". Where it all began.
Usually I try not to repeat words, but consecutive repetition can make an exception. I particularly like the line "pray pray pray / to remember why the flight". The worst way to lose is to forget your motive. Without a reason why, no amount of opportunity can help you win.
Feel it All
First find out about introspective.
The Imagery
stroboscopic lights
bomb
destruction
grey
black
The Content
Got a feel of Riot Lights in this. There is even a bit of Sixx A.M. in there at "this is going to hurt", only because I listened to the album a lot at the time, along with Tokio Hotel.
I like the usage of countdown in this one. There is some kind of expectation, mixed with a little dread. It is also very visual, starting off in flashes of colour and quite a lot of red, then it just oozing away in the end to black.
This is an early entry. It is different in that the last line does not reflect the first. In fact, Dead Strobe was the original title. I never had a thing for parties or live concerts. Combining monstrously loud music with seizurously flashing lights makes a nightmarish headache.
flash between heartbeats
seizurous
dare to snap heartstrings
bomb ticking
countdown
five
a tangle of wires
the red or the blue
four
a network of people
them or us
three
this is going to scar
split and frayed
two
this is going to hurt
flesh and soul
one
a severed capillary
bleeds love
zero
drained of life
turning a grey pallour
as the pulse wavers
and the lights dim
in the final scene of our
dead strobe
The Imagery
stroboscopic lights
bomb
destruction
grey
black
The Content
Got a feel of Riot Lights in this. There is even a bit of Sixx A.M. in there at "this is going to hurt", only because I listened to the album a lot at the time, along with Tokio Hotel.
I like the usage of countdown in this one. There is some kind of expectation, mixed with a little dread. It is also very visual, starting off in flashes of colour and quite a lot of red, then it just oozing away in the end to black.
This is an early entry. It is different in that the last line does not reflect the first. In fact, Dead Strobe was the original title. I never had a thing for parties or live concerts. Combining monstrously loud music with seizurously flashing lights makes a nightmarish headache.
Sunday 14 February 2016
1 Timothy 2:1
"First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people,"
The current lifestyle in which I am living now permits little thought of others. Study, sleep, repeat. I am spinning with numbers and calculations; meanwhile my grandparents are ailing, my parents are tiring, my friends are wondering, peasants are struggling, leaders are stressing, wars are waging.. Prayer gives allows me to remember this world.
It is one of few moments which I lend time to take attention off of myself. There are so many in need, of anything. But you say, does prayer make any difference? Does it? On one end there is the all giving God, while on the other there is the skeptical human. God cannot force gifts into anyone's hands. Neither can I. So does it make a difference? Maybe. Potentially.
More than anything, prayer helps me give thanks regularly. And the more I pray for others, the more I know I take things for granted. The two focuses go hand in hand. So you know, it can never do harm to pray a little more.
But the highlight of this verse is in "for all people". For me, for you, for your favourite aunt, for the nasty old lady down the street, for kings, for beggars, for pals, for strangers, for victims, for victimizers.. we are all as hopeless as one another. What goes around comes around. You better pray that people make the right decisions each day, because it will come to you sooner or later.
I do have a thing for falling into a content rhythm. Humans are this way; we never think to pray, but when some havoc breaks loose we fall to the ground and start begging like there is no tomorrow. And when things restore themselves we fall into a content rhythm again. And so the cycle continues.
So I am adding more names to my list. Even if it takes up time I would have spent on other people, it is still worth having more people receive "the touch". Or maybe I ought to make more time, or pray for more time. Pray-ception. I live with myself so much that humans are becoming less human in my mind. Pray for me too~
The current lifestyle in which I am living now permits little thought of others. Study, sleep, repeat. I am spinning with numbers and calculations; meanwhile my grandparents are ailing, my parents are tiring, my friends are wondering, peasants are struggling, leaders are stressing, wars are waging.. Prayer gives allows me to remember this world.
It is one of few moments which I lend time to take attention off of myself. There are so many in need, of anything. But you say, does prayer make any difference? Does it? On one end there is the all giving God, while on the other there is the skeptical human. God cannot force gifts into anyone's hands. Neither can I. So does it make a difference? Maybe. Potentially.
More than anything, prayer helps me give thanks regularly. And the more I pray for others, the more I know I take things for granted. The two focuses go hand in hand. So you know, it can never do harm to pray a little more.
But the highlight of this verse is in "for all people". For me, for you, for your favourite aunt, for the nasty old lady down the street, for kings, for beggars, for pals, for strangers, for victims, for victimizers.. we are all as hopeless as one another. What goes around comes around. You better pray that people make the right decisions each day, because it will come to you sooner or later.
I do have a thing for falling into a content rhythm. Humans are this way; we never think to pray, but when some havoc breaks loose we fall to the ground and start begging like there is no tomorrow. And when things restore themselves we fall into a content rhythm again. And so the cycle continues.
So I am adding more names to my list. Even if it takes up time I would have spent on other people, it is still worth having more people receive "the touch". Or maybe I ought to make more time, or pray for more time. Pray-ception. I live with myself so much that humans are becoming less human in my mind. Pray for me too~
Thursday 11 February 2016
Laws of Thermodynamics
Follow up of Heat
Prerequisite: chemistry, physics
Less on temperature, more on energy. Less on chemistry, more on physics~ Here is something we can all agree on:
The zeroeth law of dynamics was a bit of a "duh" statement that scientists overlooked. Thermal equilibrium can also be understood with concentration and electrostatic analogies. Molecules at molecular equilibrium are at uniform concentration. Charges at electrostatic equilibrium are at uniform voltage. Likewise, heat at thermal equilibrium are at uniform temperature.
There again, internal energy:
I forgot to include that heat = Q. And for internal energy, we will focus more on the format ∆U = (3/2)nR∆T.
Here is your old grandma in a brand new dress. The Law of Conservation of Energy combined with ∆U = (3/2)nR∆T, PV = nRT, and PV graphs can tell us many things~
An isothermal process is when the temperature is kept constant. Since ∆T = 0, it follows that ∆U = 0 because ∆U = (3/2)nR∆T. The graphs looks like 1/x.
An isobaric process is when the pressure is kept constant. Since ∆P = 0, W = P∆V. It is more apparent when written as "W = (F/A)(A*∆x)", bearing in mind that W = F∆x.
An isovolumetric (sometimes isochloric) process is when the volume is kept constant. Since there is no ∆x, W = 0.
The adiabatic process is when no heat flows in or out of the system. Recall that heat Q is "energy transfer due to ∆T" so "∆Q" is quite redundant. Since Q = 0, it follows that ∆U = -W because ∆U = Q - W. Here is a better adiabatic graph:
So why is it that there is a change in temperature if Q = 0? Recall that temperature is the average kinetic energy of molecules, and in the case of adiabatic processes the change in this kinetic energy is due to work.
Nothing mind boggling here. Molecules do not diffuse to a higher concentration. Charges do not move to a higher voltage. There is actually a section on Gibbs free energy in AP chemistry, which in a sense calculates the spontaneity of a reaction, but that is beyond the scope of AP physics.
Efficiencies are disappointing enough, but thermodynamics takes that disappointment one step further. Even efficiencies are not completely efficient, if you compare calculations with Q and with T.
The biggest annoyance with this law is the fact that 100% efficiency is impossible. When you convert heat to kinetic energy there is always a residue of heat at equilibrium, as seen in QH --> QL + W. Heat at equilibrium cannot do work! If you turn QL back into QH with yet inefficient work, you end up with less QH than you started with.
1) QH --> QL + W
2) QL + W --> QH' + QL'
in which QH' < QH
and QL' > QL
One day when all kinetic energy is spent and all QH falls to equilibrium, we will be in heat death. Dun, dun dun, there goes your dramatic finale! Moral of the story: kids, do not waste your kinetic energy~
Prerequisite: chemistry, physics
Less on temperature, more on energy. Less on chemistry, more on physics~ Here is something we can all agree on:
The zeroeth law of dynamics was a bit of a "duh" statement that scientists overlooked. Thermal equilibrium can also be understood with concentration and electrostatic analogies. Molecules at molecular equilibrium are at uniform concentration. Charges at electrostatic equilibrium are at uniform voltage. Likewise, heat at thermal equilibrium are at uniform temperature.
There again, internal energy:
I forgot to include that heat = Q. And for internal energy, we will focus more on the format ∆U = (3/2)nR∆T.
Here is your old grandma in a brand new dress. The Law of Conservation of Energy combined with ∆U = (3/2)nR∆T, PV = nRT, and PV graphs can tell us many things~
An isobaric process is when the pressure is kept constant. Since ∆P = 0, W = P∆V. It is more apparent when written as "W = (F/A)(A*∆x)", bearing in mind that W = F∆x.
An isovolumetric (sometimes isochloric) process is when the volume is kept constant. Since there is no ∆x, W = 0.
The adiabatic process is when no heat flows in or out of the system. Recall that heat Q is "energy transfer due to ∆T" so "∆Q" is quite redundant. Since Q = 0, it follows that ∆U = -W because ∆U = Q - W. Here is a better adiabatic graph:
So why is it that there is a change in temperature if Q = 0? Recall that temperature is the average kinetic energy of molecules, and in the case of adiabatic processes the change in this kinetic energy is due to work.
Nothing mind boggling here. Molecules do not diffuse to a higher concentration. Charges do not move to a higher voltage. There is actually a section on Gibbs free energy in AP chemistry, which in a sense calculates the spontaneity of a reaction, but that is beyond the scope of AP physics.
Efficiencies are disappointing enough, but thermodynamics takes that disappointment one step further. Even efficiencies are not completely efficient, if you compare calculations with Q and with T.
1) QH --> QL + W
2) QL + W --> QH' + QL'
in which QH' < QH
and QL' > QL
One day when all kinetic energy is spent and all QH falls to equilibrium, we will be in heat death. Dun, dun dun, there goes your dramatic finale! Moral of the story: kids, do not waste your kinetic energy~
Heat
Follow up of Temperature and Kinetic Theory
Prerequisite: chemistry
Scored me a four in AP chemistry. The first thing that tripped me up was titration (but those were good days, joking about titrating ก๋วยเตี๋ยว). Tied at second place with solubility, was calorimetry. Now I wish someone had told me this:
Sure I knew what temperature was, otherwise I would not have even gotten a three. What I did not understand was heat. It is not a difficult concept but the teacher (and the textbook) probably took it for granted and only explained temperature.
I like to think that the relation of heat and temperature is similar to that of moles and concentration, or even charge and voltage. Molecules go from high to low concentration. Charges go from high to low voltage. Likewise, heat goes from high to low temperature.
Not sure why internal energy is introduced in this chapter. Will bring this up in the next~
Latent heat is just a fancy name for heat of phase change, whether it be freezing, melting, condensing, or evapourating. It is very important because it is actually rather easy to overlook in a calculation. At least for me. And we have our old friend specific heat down there, familiar and just as important.
Physics is obsessed with rates, so there:
AP is only likely to contain conduction. The rest, again, are nice to know.
Head on to the finale of the thermal physics trilogy.. Laws of Thermodynamics~
Prerequisite: chemistry
Scored me a four in AP chemistry. The first thing that tripped me up was titration (but those were good days, joking about titrating ก๋วยเตี๋ยว). Tied at second place with solubility, was calorimetry. Now I wish someone had told me this:
Sure I knew what temperature was, otherwise I would not have even gotten a three. What I did not understand was heat. It is not a difficult concept but the teacher (and the textbook) probably took it for granted and only explained temperature.
I like to think that the relation of heat and temperature is similar to that of moles and concentration, or even charge and voltage. Molecules go from high to low concentration. Charges go from high to low voltage. Likewise, heat goes from high to low temperature.
Not sure why internal energy is introduced in this chapter. Will bring this up in the next~
Latent heat is just a fancy name for heat of phase change, whether it be freezing, melting, condensing, or evapourating. It is very important because it is actually rather easy to overlook in a calculation. At least for me. And we have our old friend specific heat down there, familiar and just as important.
Physics is obsessed with rates, so there:
AP is only likely to contain conduction. The rest, again, are nice to know.
Head on to the finale of the thermal physics trilogy.. Laws of Thermodynamics~
Temperature and Kinetic Theory
Prerequisite: chemistry
My regular physics class actually did not cover any thermal physics because most were covered in chemistry. Even so, my regular chemistry teacher was *cough cough* so I learned most stuff from AP chemistry. Here are the stuff I have left to gleam, which are mostly just equations. They are not particularly important in AP, but they are good to know~
When change in temperature causes change in length or volume. Can be written in the format on the right.
Thermal stress is a form of pressure. This is not likely to appear in AP as Young's modulus is not covered. Whatever that is. It has something to do with elasticity.
Here is another form of PV = nRT. Despite this, the classic nR form is still more common in AP than this Nk form.
I came across this vaguely in AP chemistry. Now it is a lot more clear. Geez, why did the textbook not put it this way:
where k is Boltzmann's constant.
More stuff. Nice to know, but not vital.
Also nice to know. The final answer can be in any (mass / time) unit depending on what you use in your substitution.
That symbol J.. physicists are really running out of alphabets to use! They finished the Greek letters, might as well use Chinese characters next. Sure, we have plenty of Chinese characters~
Next in the thermal physics trilogy is Heat
My regular physics class actually did not cover any thermal physics because most were covered in chemistry. Even so, my regular chemistry teacher was *cough cough* so I learned most stuff from AP chemistry. Here are the stuff I have left to gleam, which are mostly just equations. They are not particularly important in AP, but they are good to know~
When change in temperature causes change in length or volume. Can be written in the format on the right.
Thermal stress is a form of pressure. This is not likely to appear in AP as Young's modulus is not covered. Whatever that is. It has something to do with elasticity.
Here is another form of PV = nRT. Despite this, the classic nR form is still more common in AP than this Nk form.
I came across this vaguely in AP chemistry. Now it is a lot more clear. Geez, why did the textbook not put it this way:
where k is Boltzmann's constant.
More stuff. Nice to know, but not vital.
Also nice to know. The final answer can be in any (mass / time) unit depending on what you use in your substitution.
That symbol J.. physicists are really running out of alphabets to use! They finished the Greek letters, might as well use Chinese characters next. Sure, we have plenty of Chinese characters~
Next in the thermal physics trilogy is Heat
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